PHILADELPHIA (KYW Newsradio) — Jamil Rivers was leading a typical life; she juggled working and being a busy mom of two. Then, everyone in her household caught a cold — but hers didn’t go away.
She had a chronic cough. A chest X-ray revealed lesions on her lungs.
“It was confirmed in March of 2018 that I had metastatic de novo,” said the 44-year-old. “Stage 4 from the start, because it had already spread — invasive ductal carcinoma — and it had already spread everywhere.”
Metastatic breast cancer is the deadliest form of the disease. Rivers discovered it had spread to her lungs, liver, sternum and bones. Her diagnosis came just as her husband had fought off colon cancer.
“I’m thinking, ‘I’m gonna die,’” she remembered. “And the woman who was the radiologist at the cancer center took my hand and she said, ‘We have a whole floor upstairs with young women with metastatic breast cancer. You’re not going to die today, you’re not going to die next week, but we’ll take it day by day.’”
Cancer can be the scariest diagnosis a family ever receives. But the diagnosis is only the start of a long journey. Some survivors say people treated them differently after being diagnosed, with well-meaning but off-putting gestures from friends or self-proclaimed experts.
“My best thing for that is to start giving them some of the cancer terminology and see how much they know,” Rivers countered. “‘Oh, you don’t know about that? So how are you going to give me advice on what I need to do about my cancer?’”
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Dr. Generosa Grana, spokesperson for the American Cancer Society and medical director at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Camden, said what’s ultimately most important are doctors who will listen to their patients.
“Some women want to keep their breasts. Some women want a mastectomy. Some women have a preference in terms of certain chemotherapies that may have less hair impact. So I think it really begins with putting together a team that you trust that you can communicate with,” she explained.
Grana is also a survivor, but she admits being a doctor didn’t make it any easier.
“I think it’s made me a much better doctor, though,” she said. “When I talk to a woman and sit down and talk about the surgical options and the other difficulties, I really see myself in her shoes.”
Tomika Bryant was diagnosed 10 years ago, when she was in her 30s, during her very first mammogram — a checkup she had been avoiding. She was diagnosed with triple-negative breast cancer, which is common in Black women — and one of the most difficult to treat.
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Like many women, Bryant struggled to balance the disease and family. She especially didn’t want her children to see her go through chemotherapy treatments.
“I just did not need that memory,” she said. “I remember the one time my daughter did go, she walked in the room and walked back out. And it was a lot for her. She just wasn’t prepared for it.”
Lynne Alston, meanwhile, wasn’t prepared for a hug to save her life.
“Because that’s exactly what happened,” she said. Altson said she felt a pain in her breast when a friend hugged her tightly. Later that day, she looked in the mirror and noticed a golf ball-sized lump.
“That started the process of the mammogram,” she said. “A week later, I get a call back — they saw something. I come back and get a 3D mammogram. A week later, I go back and I have a biopsy. And within four days, I was diagnosed with triple-negative Stage 3 breast cancer.”
Altson, who wrote a book about her journey, said through all the struggles, the fight continues. And, survivors are not just surviving — they are thriving.
“My mission in life is to help us take or remove the stigma out of the word cancer.”
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🎧 LISTEN
Hear more conversations with cancer survivors on a special episode of Bridging Philly. Listen in the player below, on the Audacy app or wherever you get your podcasts.