PHILADELPHIA (KYW Newsradio) — Shelton Hayes, of West Oak Lane in Northwest Philadelphia, was known as the life of the party.
“The biggest joke that we have going is that he always had a red solo cup in his hand,” said his mother Rhonda Gore.
She said Hayes was the proud father of two girls, a brother, a marketing professional, a foodie and a light to the many who knew him.
In March of 2018, his life was taken in his own home, while his mother was just steps away upstairs. He had just celebrated his 39th birthday.
“The protector, the man of my home is gone. So now what do I do?,” she said.
Gore explained that losing Hayes was the beginning of finding her new normal. The void in her heart is one that can never be filled, but Gore has found some comfort through sharing stories of Hayes' bigger-than-life personality, and connecting with families who know the pain of losing a loved one to gun violence.
“So when I talk to families, I’m talking from a place of 'I’m with you in the journey.' Because it’s a journey. It’s a journey, because I still have to I have to talk to his daughter. Sometimes I have to talk them off the ledge and say 'Baby girl, it’s okay,” said Gore.
She’s still awaiting justice for her son whose murderer is still on the loose, adding another layer to her grief.
She started the Shelton T. Hayes Foundation in 2019, hoping to keep his light flickering in the world. The foundation helps other families survive the grief of losing a loved one to gun violence.
“Finding our new normal. Being equipped to handle our new normal, being empowered to handle our new normal and to be educated. Because there is something to be educated about this. This is not an easy task. When you don’t know who to contact first. You don’t know who can help you. You don’t know who is really for you who’s just trying to get information, you don’t know who to trust," Gore said.
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The foundation also collect socks, scarves and gloves to donate to local shelters, schools and families, a nod to Hayes' sharp dressing and love for flashy socks.
“Shelton and his godbrothers have this thing called the sock game. They would say that 'Sock game is real in these streets,'” Gore joked.
She said their mantra is "warm feet equal a warm heart and soul." Last year, they collected more than 1,100 pairs of socks to donate. This year they’re hoping to match that and more.
“Our goal for the socks is 2,000 pairs," Gore explained.
"I would have like to have 2,000 pairs of everything to be able to give to the shelters that we help. I’ve extended the sock drive until November 20. I’m hoping that we raise some more.”
Gore said while she wishes she could make the cycle of gun violence stop in Philadelphia, for now, she’s putting time and effort into what she can do—helping foster healing for others.
“I want families to hear that you’re not by yourself," Gore said.
"You may feel alone. You may feel abandoned. You may feel discombobulated, but you’re not alone. We are brought together by unfortunate circumstances. We’ve lost something very valuable. So you’re not by yourself. And anything the Shelton T Hays foundation stands for is we’re going to work through the new normal.”
The foundation is still collecting winter items for the season. To learn more about how to donate, click here.