The Washington Football Team is better than last year. That doesn't mean the record will improve much.
Washington faces both Super Bowl teams. Three prime time games where they typically don't fare well. Four of six games on the road to end the season. Five straight NFC East games to finish. (Did the schedule maker forget division games and threw them in at the end?) Six 2020 playoff teams.
The quarterback gauntlet has Patrick Mahomes, Tom Brady, Justin Herbert, Russell Wilson and Aaron Rodgers (in Green Bay or Denver.) If New York's Daniel Jones is the weakest opposing passer then the secondary's going to need oxygen this fall.
It all adds up to 9-8, even with some creative math.
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Figure an opening win over the visiting Los Angeles Chargers at a filled FedEx Field. Fans realize they missed this crummy place, because it's our crummy place, and will return. For once, a visiting crowd can't outnumber Washington fans. After all, the Chargers don't have fans in Los Angeles, much less here.
Uh oh – four days later all that goodwill is gone as the New York Giants beat Washington at FedEx on Thursday Night Football. You know the hosts always go down when the lights come up.
Gonna pull a surprise here and call for an upset over Buffalo. I'm alone on this island and I'll die on this hill.
Washington then beats Atlanta for 3-1 as fans start thinking Super Bowl. FitzMagic – catch it.
But then comes the first slide. Three straight losses to New Orleans, Kansas City and Green Bay. Gonna be ugly and lots of pressure to win at Denver to reach 4-4 at the bye.
But it doesn't matter how much time Washington has to prepare, it's not beating Brady and the Bucs. I know, Washington gave Tampa Bay its toughest playoff game in the latter's Super Bowl run with a quarterback out of nowhere. Doesn't matter, it's a loss.
Washington rebounds at Carolina where fights at the gas pumps mean my cousins must have been paroled recently. Like they say on Saturday Night Live – Charlotte is the gateway to Gastonia.
Seattle then beats Washington on Monday Night Football. The FedEx crowd is getting worried, especially when the locals don't cover the spread.
And nobody leaves Las Vegas a winner so Washington loses to the Raiders. Team loses a collective $323,000.01 at the airport slots. Some rookie tried a penny slot. (Admittedly, I've carried a bucket of quarters onto my red-eye flight home. Paid for sodas in the press room for months.)
The saving grace is five straight division games where Washington goes 4-1. This Dallas-Philadelphia-Dallas-Philadelphia rope-a-dope is flat out weird. I've seen Washington play the same opponent twice in three weeks, but not two teams over four weeks. Washington beats Dallas and Philadelphia, then loses to Dallas on Sunday Night Football for 0-3 under the lights before beating Philadelphia.
And on the frozen swamps of East Rutherford, Washington beats New York to finish 9-8.
Is that enough to win the NFC East? Probably not. But, it's a respectable run against a hellish schedule and sets up 2022 for the real Super Bowl run.
Rick Snider has covered Washington sports since 1978. Follow him on Twitter: @Snide_Remarks.
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