Everything happens for a reason, right? That axiom is almost always shared after something negative. Maybe you didn't get the job for which you applied (been there) or a relationship ended (been there) or you didn't get in to that college you really wanted to attend (been there). It's easy to say and easy to understand but really tough to embrace in the moment. And, while I like to subscribe to that thought, the reality is that every day is an opportunity to make something better, to do something special, to build off of past pieces of adversity. We make our own challenges better through our actions. Nothing is automatic or guaranteed. But, you have the ability to earn that next job or develop that new relationship or put yourself in a position to attend a great school. None of us, unfortunately, can undo death and thus it is even more difficult to embrace any kind of well-intentioned platitude when you lose someone about whom you truly care.
The COVID-19 pandemic (as of April 26) has taken nearly 200,000 lives worldwide and more than 50,000 in the USA. That means we are well within two commas worth of folks who have lost someone special, be it a family member, a friend, or maybe even someone you didn't know well or at all but from whom you drew inspiration. Whatever the case, before we even consider the financial impact of this monstrosity, the damage is unfathomable.
Everything happens for a reason, right? I try to tell myself this whenever something bad happens and challenge myself to figure out that reason, but in this case I'm stumped. What I do know is that there are elements of the COVID-19 lifestyle that I hope exist well after COVID-19 dies (or is controlled). These elements aren't necessarily new, born from our temporary change in lifestyle, but they have certainly been amplified as we've united and adjusted to overcome a challenge we face together.
People. I find that I'm most fulfilled by people and relationships, both personally and professionally. But, the beauty of people is that we're all different and some of you reading this might not prioritize interests similarly. That's OK. Heck, that's awesome. But for me, priority numero uno is people and relationships. I love that during this crazy time people, seemingly more than normal, are reaching out to others just to check in. A simple, How are you doing? even on its own with no growth in dialogue can be so powerful. Taking five seconds to send a text to just let someone know you care sends such a strong feeling of love. It's awesome hearing how some have used this time to connect with friends or put together reunions of sorts through technology. Why does this have to change once we turn the page on the pandemic?
I very much miss being active. Whether it's playing basketball regularly or just working out, I'm someone who craves activity. Prior to the pandemic I had lost weight I'd long wanted to lose and was excited to maintain that new lifestyle. Alas, the struggle of the "quarantine 15" is real. I'm a world class snacker and more time at home means more snacking for me! I'm going on runs and doing my best but, whereas in the past my eating habits and addition of weight would stress me out, I've allowed myself a mental pass and am discovering a happiness in this department I've long sought. Why does this have to change once we turn the page on the pandemic?
Like a lot of you, I've gone on more walks over the last several weeks than I have over the last several years. Some by myself, others with my wife, and a few, while appropriately distancing, with friends. These walks have provided entertainment, serenity, and reflection. When I'm walking with someone it forces me—someone who is almost always on the go—to slow the you-know-what-down and just talk. These walks, especially those with my wife, have been invaluable. Why does this have to change once we turn the page on the pandemic?
I'll tell you why. At least, this is what's true for me. I'm a scheduler and a planner to the max. Not only that but I will often work until I fall asleep. That's a lethal combination. Most days I wake up and begin attacking my to-do list the moment I get out of bed. I'm HORRIBLE at allowing myself to just breathe. It's bad. I know it. But as much as I want to do it, there's always a dangling carrot of ambition that I'm chasing and, while marriage has allowed for some improvement, it's a balance with which I've struggled. Breaking up my day for a walk or a phone call that isn't killing two birds with one stone while I'm driving, or just taking my foot off the pedal mentally, is taking away from time I could be spending pursuing my goals. But this pandemic has forced me, and maybe some of you, to tone it down. In turn, it's allowed me to discover a part of life I'm learning to love.
At my core, I am who I am. Once the pandemic passes I'll remain the planner who thrives on the "first one in, last one to leave" working mentality. That's not going to change. But, the reality is, that hasn't changed during this terrible period anyway. I'm still working hard and still staying organized. But, I'm doing it with a new sense of balance. It's not a completed process, but one that's heading in the right direction.
I'd like to think that most of you have had your own experiences of growth or discovery during this time. I'd never disrespect the lives lost and suggest an update to our lifestyle is the reasonwhy this happened but we—those of us fortunate to persevere through this historically tragic time—must continue to live and love…and learn. Let's live together, love one another, and learn always.
An immeasurable level of gratitude to the heroes helping us persevere through this time and a genuine wish of love to those of you who have lost someone special.
