It’s not my most original or groundbreaking observation, but I’ve always felt fantasy football is a bit like blackjack—you can do everything right and still get dealt a crap hand most of the time. Jonathan Taylor scored five touchdowns! Victory is mine! But wait … that’s your opponent raising you (mid-fist pump) four Austin Ekeler touchdowns and 115 yards from scrimmage. And is that Adam Thielen I see, crawling to the sideline like a bomb went off in his ankle? Also, who ever heard of a bye in Week 13? I’m a little rusty on my high-school civics, but that can’t be constitutional.
Maybe the powers that be should rebrand Murphy’s Law as Saquon’s Law, in reference to the perennial flop never staying healthy (the Giants’ descent into utter chaos and dysfunction has been one of the more predictable outcomes of the 2021 season). As frustrating as Barkley has been for those reckless enough to draft him, he’s still been more reliable than Christian McCaffrey, who, despite exhibiting every red flag fantasy owners are conditioned to look for, will still get us to fall for his latest pump-and-dump scheme next summer.
There’s a certain nihilism that prevails through this exercise in futility we call fantasy football, a callous indifference that comes from having your heart broken too many times. But as fans of long-suffering sports franchises know all too well, climbing that harrowing mountain of frustration, weathering each bump along the road to redemption, is all part of the experience. So hang in there, solider. You’ve got a fantasy championship to win and we’re going to help you get there, no matter how beaten and bloodied the past 13 weeks have left you.
We’ve arrived at the final week of the fantasy regular season with playoff spots, byes and seeding all up for grabs. There’s plenty on the line and much work to be done with waivers to sort out, streaming possibilities to consider and, of course, those diabolical start/sit questions that chip away at our sanity each and every week.
Jordan Cohn and Chris Emma joined me on the Audacy Sports Fantasy Football Show to discuss all things Week 14, weighing in on another daunting slate with four teams on bye (the Patriots, Colts, Eagles and Dolphins are all getting breathers) and more than a few injuries to navigate. Good luck to everyone with something to play for this week and keep fighting the good fight.