Ellis: So, uh, what exactly are the Bears doing?


(670 The Score) On January 4, 1796, Henry George Bohn was born in London. The son of a German bookbinder, Bohn grew up and quickly fell into the family business, becoming an accomplished collector and dealer of rare books by the time he was 35. Shortly after, he published A Hand-book of Proverbs, known famously for the first modern appearance of the phrase “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Historians have never been able to fully verify this, but rumor has it that Bohn was a Chicago Bears fan.

Hell, as the Midwest knows it, is a six-win season. (Also, winter.) Hell is getting through 40% of Justin Fields’ rookie contract with fewer wins than the Packers had in 2021 alone. The honeymoon phase of new general manager Ryan Poles’ residency at Halas Hall isn’t over yet, but we’re not far from the point where it’s time to start thinking about setting an alarm for check-in, so that you don’t suffer the consequences of boarding group D. Nothing the Bears have done since the new league year started on March 16 signals that Poles and company are in over their heads, but it’s hard to imagine they saw their first fortnight in free agency being this bumpy.

A quick summary: Larry Ogunjobi, the underrated and supposedly perfect three-technique for new coach Matt Eberflus’ defensive system, got a $40-million contract from the Bears and then failed his physical. It was a lot of money for a relatively unproven player, who, admittedly, is still young and plenty promising. Ted Phillips’ Poles’ defenders will say hey, these things happen, and that’s true! They happen in the same way that finding a $5 bill on the sidewalk happens.

Don’t worry – that didn’t deter the Bears from hitting the free-agent market hard, with their reward being (checks notes) a two-year (?) contract for backup quarterback (??) Trevor Siemian (???). If the whole reconnect-with-Bears-alumni routine is a goodwill play for Bears fans, giving a Northwestern alumni $5 million is a goodwill play for Bears media. The Bears now officially have four quarterbacks on the roster, which will surely change, but is nonetheless good for a hearty laugh or eight in the meantime. Four! Very normal stuff. That’s almost a full offensive line’s worth of quarterbacks, which is especially convenient considering they don’t, you know, have a full offensive line’s worth of offensive linemen. They almost signed Buffalo's Ryan Bates, but the four-year, $17-million contract they offered the restricted free agent got matched by the Bills. So what the Bears are left with now is a fun story about how they almost landed an offensive lineman who’s started four games in three years. And Byron Pringle.

Poles has very little to prove to anyone whose last name isn’t McCaskey, which he seems to extremely understand. But like our good friend Henry George Bohn said, the road to hell is paved with poorly executed offseason maneuvering. At least, that’s how historians translated it.

Cam Ellis is a writer for 670 The Score and Audacy Sports. Follow him on Twitter @KingsleyEllis.

Featured Image Photo Credit: USA Today Sports