Add this to the 'headlines that sound like they are from the Onion but are actually completely serious' file.
In addition to the implementation of the pitch clock for the 2023 Major League Baseball season, Jeff Passan of ESPN says that the powers that be are now monitoring the efficiency of batboys and batgirls:
"New standards will be enforced for batboys and batgirls, whose ability to quickly retrieve equipment will help efforts to speed up the game, according to the memo. The league will evaluate the performances of batboys and batgirls and could ask teams to replace them if it's considered substandard."
It's not immediately clear how much time would be trimmed off the game with an above-average batboy or batgirl, as opposed to one that the league views as "substandard." Frankly, for as much credit as the league deserves for their efforts to improve pace of play, this initiative feels a little bit over the top.
At the same time, there's not a batboy or batgirl in the league that can outrun a batdog. So if this memo is the first step to the league having 30 batdogs -- which have become popular in the minor leagues -- it's probably for the best.
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