The Trial of Joe DeCamara: Why he is guilty

Joe DeCamara Phillies Phantasy Camp
Photo credit Phillies Phantasy Camp

Anyone who listens to Joe DeCamara everyday knows he is a weasel.

When he loses in Beat the Hammer, he always attempts to find a way to weasel out of the loss. He spends his weekend in the bathtub re-listening to the contest trying to find a loophole to get the loss nullified. Never, ever, does he take the loss like a man – with grace or dignity. Instead, he whines, complains, and attacks the host of the segment, yours truly. I am speaking from experience when I tell you, Joe DeCamara lacks integrity.

Related: The Trial of Joe DeCamara: Why he is innocent

And that’s what we’re fighting for here – the integrity of the Midday Show. Nay, the integrity of WIP as a station. For when a man loses a bet, it is his integrity on the line if he refuses to honor said bet. Sadly, Joe DeCamara is a man without integrity, and we here at WIP must not allow Joe DeCamara to take the station down with him.

For those who don’t know, DeCamara will be put on trial Thursday to decide if he lost his Phillies Phantasy Camp bet.

The bet was simple. To win, Joe had to accomplish either: 

a. five hits (with one of the hits being an extra base hit) 

b. at least six hits (all singles). 

If DeCamara won the bet, the Phillies would allow the Midday Show and 10 listeners on the field for batting practice before a Phillies game. If DeCamara lost the bet, he had to get his legs and feet waxed live on the air.

To put it simply, Joe got four hits. Four. Hits. Joe has already acknowledged that he cannot win the bet, obviously, because he only got four hits. But he’s contending that instead of honoring his loss and getting his legs waxed, that the bet should be “null and void” because there was one less inning per game than he expected. 

“Joe DeCamara is a weasel.” -- pic.twitter.com/3a8ACtPAKe

— SPORTSRADIO 94WIP (@SportsRadioWIP) February 19, 2020

Let’s put aside the fact that the bet was never based on a specified amount of innings played, or that Joe got more plate appearances this year at Phantasy Camp than he did last year, or that his coach Milt Thompson batted him leadoff every game to get him the most plate appearances possible.

Let’s also put aside the fact that Joe was trying to weasel his way of the bet before any games were even played (I have text messages to prove it). Or the fact that he has a long history of attempting to weasel his way out of things. Or any of the multitude of other reasons that Joe is guilty and should have legs as bare as a baby’s bottom. 

This is about one thing: Integrity. 

The integrity of the Midday Show, and more importantly, WIP as a station and Philadelphia institution, is on the line Thursday at 12:45pm. 

I believe The Honorable Judge Spike Eskin will do the right thing, and return a guilty verdict with a sentencing of follicular removal of the legs and feet. 

Honor and integrity will be restored, and the weasel will be put back in his hole.