"Florida Man" has become shorthand for a unique brand of idiocy mined from the Sunshine State's never-ending news stories about people doing stupid stuff, usually with guns, drugs, booze or reptiles.
According to investigators, Elias Flor, 19, was spotted “masturbating on the back” of a woman who was looking at merchandise along with her 12-year-old son.
Flor, cops say, entered the Walmart in Winter Haven around 6:30 p.m. Friday and strolled around the store before going into the restroom. Upon exiting the bathroom, Flor headed for the toy section, where the victim was shopping with the boy.
By the time the woman turned to look, the suspect was gone.
Police said Flor was charged with Battery and Committing Lewd Act In Presence of Child 16 or Younger.