It's a Mardi Gras party, complete with the costumes.
It's a slow-motion stampede conducted mostly by quasi-media members or outright impostors.
Nowadays, it is.
He was, of course, sitting in the safety of a podium.
As he looked out, he might spot a women in a blue gown strutting for TV cameras that didn't seem to be searching for anything football related.
Or several people in full Mexican regalia — nice sombreros, for sure — giving their own interviews rather than asking anything about jet sweeps or corner blitzes.
There even was a man dressed in a clown suit from head to toe, wearing the makeup to complement the outfit. How fitting.
"You play all your career to get here," Donald added. Presumably he meant to face the AFC champion Patriots on Sunday in the game, not the opening night that increasingly seems to be about anything but his profession. "It's a blessing to be here."
Melissa Whitworth, the wife of Donald's teammate, tackle Andrew Whitworth, didn't mind the mayhem at all. On hand with her four children — twins Sarah and Drew, both 7; Michael, who is 6; and Katherine, 4 — has been a fan of Media Night for a while, and was happy her husband had gotten there at least.
"After 13 years," she said with a wide smile, her kids nearby dressed in Rams jerseys with the number 77 and Whitworth on the back. "I love this night. I love everything about this night."
So did daughter Sarah, who said she didn't like football — she might have had quite a bit of company among the throngs paying more attention to each other than to the players. Asked if she watched her dad play, she shook her head 'no', noting she preferred ballet.
That certainly beats the scrum going on around the Whitworths. And everywhere else on the floor.