Think boredom is a choice? Think again. We’re all searching for things to do while playing it COVID safe, but searching for things to do in a pandemic while pregnant presents a whole new set of challenges; a set that Allie Hartwick is ready to take on.
The last time I had this much free time on my hands, I was in college.
What a cringeworthy thing to realize, but it’s true.
Pandemic + Pregnancy = 2005 schedule
It’s not that I didn’t do anything for 4+ years, I just didn’t have as many responsibilities then. Other than hours spent in classes, rehearsals, or at a part-time job, I had a lot of down time, particularly between midnight and 6am.
Bothering a roommate who is obviously trying to study
Now, I spend those hours sleeping or working (yay for a 4am start!), but in the early 2000’s, I spent them watching every movie nominated for an Academy Award.
Every. One.
Best Animated Short; yup.
Best Foreign Language Film; read those.
Best Visual Effects; no other reason I would have seen I Robot.
Without getting into too many details, because the legality of the method I used to watch these films is extremely dubious, I’ll just say the University file share network gave us access to many things beyond assignments. For the first time ever, I had all the entertainment I could dream of right at my fingertips, projected into my eyeballs through a 17” laptop monitor. It was glorious.
I really do feel I was enriched by the extreme movie watching experience I gave myself in those years. A great way to learn more about what makes good storytelling, is by watching a whole lot of really great stories. And without this annual quest, early aughties stunners like The Motorcycle Diaries, A History of Violence, The Squid and the Whale, Half Nelson, Water, and Lars and the Real Girl might have passed me by.
These days, we’re all scanning our many streaming services for anything of substance to watch, and most days, there’s this looming sense that we’ve seen it all hovering over our remote controls.
So, I’m gonna try revisiting one of the activities I loved in college, and a movie binge is probably the ONLY activity I enjoyed in college that I can also do while pregnant. I mean, I could dance on a bar if y’all wanted me to, but sadly, bars are closed these days. Aw shucks.
My typical college activities
Visions of bartop dances aside, I find the loose structure of this year’s Oscar nominations is giving purpose to my daily entertainment consumption. I’m no longer meandering through the annals of streaming cinema, hoping to stumble across something worthwhile. I know where I’m going, even though I might not like every stop on the journey.
To be honest, I hated my first stop.
It was the aptly detached Nomadland. So much for structure.
Let me first say, I’d put money on this pic winning the Best Picture Oscar. I do not think it’s the best movie made this year, not by a longshot, but it has everything awards shows fawn over. A pretty setting, an unfamiliar set of circumstances, and Frances McDormand. Characters are never properly introduced, and a plot never really emerges. The person who tasked themselves with summarizing Nomadland on Wikipedia must have had one heck of a time trying to pinpoint events within the movie.
A trend in awards show nominations seems to have emerged. The lack of a defined narrative has become the standard for measurement of a “good movie,” (see Sideways, Lost in Translation, The Tree of Life etc.) and I’m left asking why. It feels reminiscent of the Emperor's New Clothes. Sure, nothing really happened in the movie, and I don’t really get what it’s supposed to mean, but we all better say we liked it for fear of looking unrefined.
The visuals in Nomadland are absolutely stunning, but I don’t think they outweigh the lack of structure. Just my opinion though, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association obviously disagrees.
My next stop on the Oscars trip through 2020 was a real treat. I almost wish I had seen A Promising Young Woman a bit later-on in my binge, as it would have made for a delectable dessert.
I might be slightly biased due to my affinity for Carey Mulligan. Ever since she graced the screen in 2009’s An Education, I’ve adored her and her myriad performances.
That’s just my fancy English major way of saying I EFFING LOVE HER.
A Promising Young Woman, which was written by, directed by, and primarily performed by women, is perfect in every way. It’s dark, it’s funny, it’s thoughtful, it’s emotional, and it makes you think well beyond the final frame. Bonus points are also awarded for a killer soundtrack. If you’ve forgotten how truly excellent Paris Hilton’s 2006 single Stars are Blind is, this movie will make you remember. I am being 0.0% sarcastic.
It’s a story of revenge, but not like we’re used to seeing, where in the end, the heroine and those who were wronged go on to live a life unencumbered by the horrors of their past. No no. No happy endings here, just the pure joy created by a really great story.
Time to shake it up a bit. Next, The Sound of Metal.
I’ll admit, I’m not a big metal fan. I like my music to have a melody, a singable tune, and if possible, a horn section. The boppier the better (see above reference to Paris Hilton).
No matter, I can enjoy a movie that lives outside the scope of my personal preferences.
And enjoy the movie I did.
Riz Ahmed has talent coming out of every cell in his body. If you haven’t seen him in 2016’s The Night Of, queue up that series for after your awards binge is over. He’s heartbreakingly impressive.
And break your heart and mend it all back up again is exactly what Ahmed does again in Metal.
Despite his character having few interests or circumstances in common with my own, Riz Ahmed finds a way to relate to every viewer through his emotional performance.
Oh yeah, he plays a drummer who goes deaf. Promise that’s not a spoiler, I think those details are in the Amazon Prime summary.
What would an awards show be without an appearance from Aaron Sorkin? Better visit his latest work next on my cinematic journey.
Not everyone is familiar with who wrote or directed their favorite movies or tv shows, and that’s just fine. It isn’t required to like a darn thing. But if you’re curious, Aaron Sorkin wrote A Few Good Men, The American President, The West Wing, The Newsroom, Molly’s Game (which he also directed), and this year, wrote and directed The Trial of the Chicago 7.
I watched this movie with my phone in my hand, just so I could look up details on Google and Wikipedia for reference. I do this with almost every movie I see that's based on a true story. I dunno what we did before the internet.
While the events depicted happened back in 1968, they felt very timely considering the events of this past year.
If you want to get all riled up and ready to protest injustice in America (as if you need anything more than the news to rile you), the Chicago 7 will help you reach peak protest mode.
Next up, Soul!
I subscribe to so many streaming services. I was deprived of television as a child and don’t need to hear stories from Boomers about bunny ears and TV’s without remote controls. I lived that hard life, and made it through to the Millennial other side. Now I’m the proud patron of Netflix, Amazon Prime, HBO Max, Showtime Anytime, HULU, Peacock, and most importantly, Disney+. I might be processing childhood trauma in an unhealthy, and expensive way. I don’t care.
In 2020, Pixar released Onward and Soul. Two great movies, both of which are nominated for Oscars. I had already checked Onward off the watchlist, so on to Soul.
If sports betting apps ever decide to consider movie watching a sport (which they should) I would bet an irresponsible amount on this to win the Best Animated Feature award.
Set aside it’s Golden Globe win in February, like all good Pixar films, Soul will make you laugh, cry, and leave you with a joie de vivre only their animators can create.
If you want a good afternoon or evening sob, Soul will do it for you. Just make sure you’ve got zero Zoom calls scheduled for the remainder of the day.
A few other films I’ve already managed to scratch off the list of nominees to watch: The White Tiger, Borat: Subsequent Moviefilm, Hilbilly Elegy (skip the movie, read the book), Eurovision Song Contest, and Tenet (I understood none of this movie). While some were good, none were remarkable beyond Guiliani’s pants “adjustment.”
I’ve still got Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, Judas and the Black Messiah, Minari (the one I’m looking forward to most), and a few others to check off my list. How did I do this in college? Did I have no friends? Did I hate sleep? Did everyone I know spend more time studying than me, thus leaving me with an abundance of unaccompanied hours? Likely the last explanation.
Enjoy the days spent on your couch, and stock up on popcorn!
Sincerely,
Allie & the Million Dollar Baby*
*he better not cost us that much
