Think boredom is a choice? Think again. We’re all searching for things to do while playing it COVID safe, but searching for things to do in a pandemic while pregnant presents a whole new set of challenges; a set that Allie Hartwick is ready to take on.
BLOG DISCLAIMER:
I am not condoning drinking while pregnant. It’s a controversial topic, even within the medical community. I’m just coming at you from the perspective of a former fun-girl who wants a cocktail real bad right now.
As always, I act under the guidance of my OBGYN, and make the choices that feel right for me. They may be the same choices you or someone you know has made, they may not.
Now, let’s get into it.
A few weeks ago, I awoke to a glorious Saturday morning.
It was sunny, warm, the birds were chirping. I felt as though woodland animals might come to my bedroom and dress me while brushing my hair.
It was the perfect day to claim a patio table and hunker down for several hours of sun-kissed mimosas.
Two small problems:
1. Have you heard? There’s a worldwide outbreak of COVID-19 going on. Most restaurants are limiting the number of hours you can take up their space, and even outdoors, it’s probably best not to go full weekend party mode quite yet.
2. I’m pretty sure bottomless mimosas during pregnancy are NOT doctor approved, even in the third trimester.
As far as problems go, wanting to day drink and not being able to is a pretty small one, but for those of you constantly asking what I’m craving, here’s your answer. I’m craving copious amounts of champagne. Wine slushies, frosé, prosecco with a drop of whatever juice you’ve got nearby mixed in. All of it.
The problem feels pretty big.
Friends were quick to offer advice, but I was more in need of consolation.
“You can have some OJ mixed with club soda, that’s kinda the same.”
No duh, and it isn’t the orange juice and bubbles I’m craving, it’s the fermented grapes.
“I know this brand that makes an N/A prosecco and it’s pretty good.”
Liar, it’s fizzy grape juice that is pretty bad.
“Well you can totally have one mimosa occasionally!”
I don’t want one mimosa, I want 30, but I think we’re onto something here.
I’m a Buffalo girl, and if there’s one thing women from Western New York do well, it’s drink. We’ve been practicing since well before the law allowed us to, and you don’t survive multiple Bills seasons without knowing how to shotgun a few dozen beers with breakfast.
I won’t advocate for the health or financial benefits or drinking heavily and regularly, but if you’re out with me, I will advocate for more shots than you’re used to regularly taking.
What can I say? I’m a bad influence, and slightly proud of it.
This was until I started harboring a very small human, and drinking became a forbidden activity.
In an instant, my Friday nights, Saturday and Sunday days, crappy Mondays, normal Tuesdays, and why not Wednesdays all became much drier. Thursdays were also lame.
At first, it was just the routine of sitting down with a glass of wine that I missed.
And because COVID’s been in full swing for over a year, I’ve been in the throes of missing days wasted away on a bar stool for months. Not having any at-home alcohol activities to supplement this longing added to my misery.
Then, as months wore on, it was the actual drink I missed. Have you actually taken the time to get super snobby and dive nose first into a goblet of wine? It’s heavenly. Don’t get me started on the tempting yeasty aroma of a cold beer, or the eye-wateringly delicious vapors wafting off a glass of gin.
Sorry, gotta wipe the drool off my keyboard.
Nevertheless, I persisted with my general alcohol abstinence, allowing myself to indulge in a sip or two when I crossed into the second trimester.
But as I FaceTimed with family members and watched them down a bottle of probably delicious wine as we chatted, I couldn’t help but feel my seltzer was supremely lacking.
My latest craving for morning cocktails, paired with mostly useless advice was the kick in the ass I needed to come up with a real solution to my admittedly problematic problem.
It is this solution I share with you now.
Some doctors believe any amount of alcohol is unacceptable to consume while pregnant. Other doctors feel an occasional glass of wine or small beer in the later trimesters is ok. There’s not one definitive study or opinion, and doctors, scientists and statistics provide mostly murky answers. I default to my OB, and have made the informed choice to indulge in an occasional singular drink. My choice to make, and I am neither alone, nor unsupported in this choice.
So how do I make my one drink count?
For all my preggos out there who don’t want to feel like a boring teetotaler, but also don’t want to risk fetal harm (because obviously) I gift you with the borderline binge drinking swap you’ve been searching for.
As my chemical engineer husband once wisely told me:
The solution to pollution is dilution.
In this instance the alcohol is pollution.
It is through the use of this principle that I can turn one drink, into four.
I’m not going to directly compare myself to another individual who allegedly performed a miracle by summoning up wine from water, but I won’t stop you from doing so.
First, I would not recommend using a particularly good wine for this hack, unless of course you don’t want to taste any of the nuances some winemaker spend hours crafting. This is a cheap wine kinda ordeal.
Your average glass of wine is 5-6oz. Depending on the alcohol content and your consumption comfort level, pouring within that range is pretty safe.
To make sure I’ve got the right amount, I use a pyrex measuring cup that I never dreamed would be so useful when I added it to my wedding registry.
From there, I put my 3rd grade A+ in division to use, and do some quick math. You can also use a calculator, but this isn’t an exact science or anything. Just for simplicity’s sake, we’ll say I gave myself a generous 6ish oz of wine.
6/4 = 1.5 (I sure hope no one needed a calculator for that), so I pour 1.5 oz of wine from the pyrex cup into a wine glass, then cover the cup with plastic wrap to prevent any evaporation.
Now, I add one ice cube and the fizzy mixer of choice until the glass is pleasantly full.
If you want, garnish with a lemon or lime, or whatever. Or just drink it straight, totally up to you here.
You’ve got yourself drink #1.
It’s a little boozy, depending on the varietal you’ve chozen, and definitely has more substance than plain ol’ seltzer.
Best of all, when this one’s gone, you’ve got 4.5oz of wine left in that pyrex, and you can make THREE more diluted drinks before you even hit your one glass of wine limit!
It’s brilliant I tell you, BRILLIANT!
It also won’t leave you feeling left out, if and when you get the long-awaited opportunity to day-drink with friends. Plus, offering to be DD will more or less guarantee you an invite.
As always, consult your doc before following my fun-soaked advice, and raise a glass (of any beverage you choose, wine, water, juice, chocolate) to you, you’ve earned it!
Sincerely,
Allie and the babes
