The first thing many people say when they get called for jury duty is "How the hell can I get out of this?" Here's some ideas on how To Get Out Of Jury Duty. Some worked for me!
Proudly declare that the coronavirus won't keep you from performing your civic duty.
Tell the judge you can't focus during the trial because you'll be too busy mentally undressing the hunky bailiff.
Refer to the judge as "Señor Freeballin'."
Spend downtime knitting a Swastika.
Explain that serving on a jury would mean there's nobody at home to care for your sex dolls.
Ask the judge when you get to yell, "You can't handle the truth!"
Once you're seated for jury questioning, pass around your flask of Jack Daniel's.
Ask the defense attorney if he's "working pro BONER!"
Tell the judge how much her gavel looks like your crack pipe.Tell the judge you can't be impartial unless serious bribe money is involved.
Yell "Objection!" every time a lawyer speaks.
Whenever the judge asks for order, yell, "Two hamburgers and a small fry," then run around the court slapping high-fives.
Just be you.
Hope these help you!
