Why Some Married Couples Are Sleeping in Separate Beds


For many people who are married, going to bed means sharing a bed with your spouse.

In a different case, experts have reported that some couples would prefer separate beds to get better sleep and help marital problems.

According to 2017 National Sleep Foundation survey, almost one in four married couples sleep in separate beds. USA Today reported that Jill Lankler, a clinical psychologist and life coach, said she has seen more couples open to trying it.

"People are losing sleep. They are waking each other up, and there is this resentment that begins to build in a relationship," Lankler said. "If you don't address that, obviously your relationship is going to suffer, your work suffers. It's this cascade."

Lankler began to discuss how separate beds can "better quality of sleep." She said sleep can be disrupted because spouses may work different schedules, getting up before one another, or they may snore.

"However, even if the switch to two beds may be the best solution, many couples still fear the nighttime split," Lankler said.

She continued, "Sharing a bed might mean disrupted sleep while sleeping in separate beds could kill intimacy."

Lankler said she has seen couples work through these fears by talking it out.

"There's a very healthy way to do it that enhances communication and enhances freedom in the relationship," she said. "I love the fact that snoring, like everything else in life, is an opportunity to go deeper into love."

Additionally, some couples may sleep separately due to their child not sleeping well or a snoring problem.

"Sleeping together when it isn't working can also be a detriment," Lankler said.

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