Tom Brady has never been more relatable. We know the legendary quarterback won’t touch carbs or pollute his body by eating strawberries, but what does the TB12 Method have to say about imbibing in a few celebratory cocktails? If there was ever a time and a place to day-drink, it would be on a $2-million boat at your seventh Super Bowl parade. Here is a slurry Brady, 43-year-old father of three, living his best life on a Wednesday afternoon in Tampa.
Holy hot mess. It’s hard to believe there was ever a time when Brady, who looks like he just funneled a beer (or eight) with Frank the Tank at Mitch-A-Palooza, could out-chug his Patriots offensive linemen. We know the Rams have a “get back” coach to help reel in Sean McVay whenever he gets hyped. If the Bucs plan on winning more Super Bowls, they might want to invest in a coach who can keep Brady upright during their parades. Get this guy on the payroll, STAT.
It’s a good thing we have video of it, because Brady won’t remember a second of Wednesday’s festivities. Tipsy Tom has won so many Lombardis, he doesn’t even care if he throws one overboard.
Speaking of overboard, Scotty Miller owes Chris Godwin a new iPhone.
Coach Bruce Arians, between hearty gulps of Bud Light (evidently not his first of the afternoon), told fans the Bucs will be back better than ever in 2021.
Getting sloppy drunk after winning the championship is a rite of passage in pro sports. Just ask Alex Ovechkin (who might still be hungover from winning the cup in 2018) or shirtless, chain-smoking Red Sox first baseman Mike Napoli.
Soak it in, Tom. You’ll always remember your seventh Super Bowl … or at least the internet will.