Have you ever watched a game and pondered what it would be like to have an athlete destroy you or your things?
Perhaps you've considered being hugged by Dexter Manley, dunked on by Michael Jordan, pancaked by Trent Williams, or eaten out of house and home by Michael Phelps?
Maybe you'd rather have your boss suplexed by Brock Lesnar, your printer destroyed by Barry Bonds, or your water heater roughed up by Mike Tyson.
Whatever you fantasize about is your business. But this form of masochistic thinking is probably more common than you think, and created an entertaining Twitter discussion on Sunday.
It started Fangraphs' Sheryl Ring pushing back on people who say that sabermetrics devalue players like Nolan Arrenado, Bryce Harper and Manny Machado. Given the frigid "hot stove" season this year with such premium talents on the market, many baseball experts have sought to justify why teams aren't willing to spend big on these players.
Eireann Dolan, wife of Washington Nationals closer Sean Doolittle, responded (colorfully) that she loves seeing the argument that "Harper and Machado are actually bad and I wouldn’t even want them on my favorite team if you paid ME."
Ring responded that baseball can be assessed with the naked eye, and that Harper and Machado are in the "1 percent of that cohort. This shouldn't be hard to understand."
That's when Dolan proposed a sports masochism involving Bryce Harper:
They need to stop lying. I would watch Harper swing a bat through my goddamn car windshield and pay him for the privilege.
— Eireann Dolan (@EireannDolan) January 27, 2019To show his appreciation, Harper responded with a sports masochism of his own, involving Doolittle:
And I would let Dooooooooooooooooooooooooooo throw a high heater and break my upstairs window anytime. https://t.co/NBBmudeleg
— Bryce Harper (@Bharper3407) January 27, 2019Doolittle and Harper are clearly friends, but you don't have to know an athlete to appreciate their craft.
So, what's your sports masochism fantasy?
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