The Caps lost Game 4 because Cakes couldn't put his phone down for two minutes


Why? Just… why?

I’ve been lying awake since it happened, tossing and turning, trying to answer that very question.

Why would Johnny Cakes Auville, the sole owner and proprietor of the Always Bet Against Cakes Jinx, tweet something so fundamentally reckless with the Caps’ season hanging in the balance? Why.

He has to realize the power he has after all these years. Doesn't he?

This superstition goes way beyond fairytales and fantasy. This has its own track record. And it’s proven. Undefeated, even.

As Uncle Ben once prophesied to a young Peter Parker: “With great power comes great responsibility.”

With a hair over two minutes left in regulation and the Caps grasping to the narrowest of 2-1 leads, Cakes decided to... tempt fate? That's the most generous spin one could put on whatever it is this was:

Mere seconds — not minutes, seconds — later, the Panthers knifed in the game-tying goal to inevitably force overtime.

The Panthers would obviously go on to win the game and tie the series, two games apiece, thus erasing Washington’s home tilt gains as the series now shifts back to Florida.

Fire and brimstone rained down immediately. Ohhhhhh, did it rain down. For, the gawkers looking on had no doubt of what carnage they'd just seen.

Perhaps you get the point.

There is nothing — and I mean nothing — that excuses this sort of reckless misuse of power. Which brings me back to my original haunting question.


It's quite clear something needs to happen, quite possibly something preternatural, to rightly rebalance the scales of the universe. And it needs to happen before Game 5. Lest the day of reckoning come before us to bring us to our knees once more.

The only question is what.