Make no mistake, we’re very proud of our guy Ryan Clary for his weight loss journey, and we understand why a strapping young lad in his mid-20s would not want to sacrifice an accidental shot to the moneymaker when he’s got a lifetime to catch a home run ball – but really, dude?
Indeed, Mr. Clary was at Nationals Park this past weekend, and, well, Zack Hample he is not, as we found out after Grant quizzed him on Watergate and then got into things he DOESN’T excel at.
“(Sunday), he’s at the Nats game with a couple of his buddies who are Cardinals fans, Willson Contreras hit a ball 109 miles an hour off the bat, and if you watch the video of the home run, Ryan, in a Juan Soto expos Jersey, the ball is coming right for him until he makes a business decision,” GP said.
“People are going, ‘oh it’s near Ryan, it’s in his section – no, it’s like Contreras was throwing it to Ryan,” Danny replied. “It's like the scene in The Sandlot where Bennie the Jet proves that the new kid can catch so he hits him a ball; Ryan is Smalls in this video, like it's coming right at him.”
So what does Ryan, sunburn and all in that Soto jersey, do in the moment of truth?
“He doesn't reach out to catch the ball, you might think he did that. He doesn't move to the side because he's afraid that he's gonna get hit, and pick it up after it bounds around,” GP said. “No, no, no, he does something I've never seen done before. I have been watching baseball for 30 years, have seen thousands of home runs land in the stands, and I’ve never seen anyone do what Ryan did.”
What did he do, Grant?
“He turns around. The ball's coming right at him, and what he decided to do was turn his back to the baseball,” GP said. “He claimed yesterday, and we're gonna give him a chance to explain himself here, but he said he did that because he wanted the ball to hit him in the side and then fall, so he could pick it up rather than trying to catch it.”
Dude, what? Ryan says he has different video angles and this is not true, so…
“Let me explain this first and foremost: 109 MPH off the bat, probably like 86 by the time it gets to me,” Ryan said as G&D tried to use logic and physics on him. “It was a frozen rope right at me, and here’s the thing: we were sitting out in the scorching hot sun because we wanted to see James Wood. We were talking about never being able to catch a home run ball, and Contreras steps up and just smacks one to us, and as it’s in the air, I literally say, ‘boys, this is coming right at us.’ It was one of those balls, all of a sudden it's coming right at me. I stand up, getting ready to catch is, and you see my arms out getting ready to catch it, kind of like an alligator catch. Last-second decision to turn to my side; I was thinking I was gonna wear it, and take one for the team.”
G&D were perplexed why Ryan was going for an HBP there, and, well, family first?
“This ball was not coming for my chest or my arms, it was coming for the jewels, man, the area you don’t want to hit,” Ryan said, because apparently, you can’t say “balls” in a non-spherical game object on air. “I do have hands, but I was not going to risk getting stretchered out.”
Danny’s incredible reply was “nobody wants you to be getting hit in the junk,” but Grant still needs to know why he turned around like a wuss.
“It is crazy, a baseball fan who wanted to catch a baseball, who had the once in a lifetime opportunity of a ball flying right at him, put his hand out to try to catch it,” GP exhorted when Ryan said his friend stuck his hand out too. “Why didn’t he turn around and show the ball his ass?”
“Because it wasn't coming right at him! I'm telling you right now: neither of you guys have ever had this come, and it’s really startling,” Ryan replied.
GP did have a shot at batting practice in Baltimore once and was outhustled by a more eager ballhawk, but still, come on Ryan!
“I’m not telling you that you shouldn't have been a little anxious, a little nervous, but what you should not have done, and I don't understand why you did, is turn around facing the other direction so that the ball could hit you in the left cheek,” GP said. “I don't get how that was your reaction.”
“Here’s my thing: I’m not good under pressure,” Ryan replied. “I think that's been well documented. If you know you know, it’s a football, I froze right there on the spot thinking I was gonna catch it. This was that moment, and I froze.”
At least his friend, a Cards fan, got the ball, but Ryan got to keep his, so…