If you're in the fantasy football championship in your league, there's a decent chance that you're rostering New Orleans Saints running back Alvin Kamara. And if this is the case... congratulations. You've already won.
For as much as we agonize about start-sit decisions at flex, sneaky pickups that could play a role even in the championship, which defenses and kickers are ideal streaming options, and much more, that's all for naught when Kamara puts up a performance like he has against the Vikings.
Did I mention we're only halfway through the game? Because the damage will only get worse. What he's done already is bad enough, beginning with a score only three minutes into the game.
Seven minutes later, Christmas cleats and all, he was back.
And while Dalvin Cook owners on the other side of certain championship matches — like, unfortunately, myself — were cautiously optimistic after Cook answered Kamara's first touchdown with a score of his own, a Mike Boone vulture quickly caused our collective happiness to fade. And if we were sad after that sequence of events, we're pretty damn near miserable after Kamara completed the first-half hat trick.
Kamara now has, oh, a casual 18 total touchdowns on the season, and at this rate, he'll reach the 20 TD mark in no time. And he'll spare no one while doing so. Fantasy owners could only do one thing in their disbelief: vent (or celebrate) on Twitter.
Oh well. There's always next half, which probably isn't a good thing. And if he replicates his production from the beginning of the game... then there's always next year.
... the second half hasn't helped much. It's almost surreal to watch.
With the fifth touchdown of the game — so far — Kamara joined a group of only 14 other names in league history to score five times in a game, most recently achieved by Jamaal Charles in 2013. The full list is shown below: