You may recall several weeks back when Junkies producer Drab T-Shirt revealed his staggering $25,000 hospital bill.
That was the fraction left over after insurance covered the remainder of the $300K it cost to bring his twin girls into this world.
Apparently a well-intentioned Junkies listener named Rohit took this as his cue to help Drab defray some of those costs, by creating a GoFundMe page.
Upon learning of this seemingly altruistic gesture, Drab demanded Rohit take the page down immediately.
"I don't think he understands why I was put off," Drab said on Monday's show.
"I kind of understand," EB said. "I mean it's just a pride thing. You're embarrassed. You don't want people to think you're nubbs."
"I'm not nubbs!" Drab projected.
"Right!" EB said. "But some people want people to think they're nubbs and they'll just take the freebies. Like Jason would 100 percent say, 'Yeah. Think I'm nubbs. Who cares?'"
"I know, but then he's got thousands of people thinking he's broke as a joke," Drab said.
"So. I don't care," Bish said. "You get over that real quick."
Jason's shamelessness aside, Rohit — a frequent caller — called in to explain his side of things. But not without going through his usual song and dance with EB, first.
"Is this the same Rohit that I always ask, 'How do you say your name?'" Bickel asked.
"Yeah. Same one," Rohit confirmed.
"Here's what I was thinking," Rohit went on to explain. "So you guys have brought it up three or four times. And every time I hear that he's got this $40K bill or whatever it is, $25K, I always think to myself: I wish I could kick in 20 or 30 bucks. Then this weekend, I wasn't doing anything Sunday morning, I was like I'm gonna spin up a GoFundMe campaign and see what happens."
"Right but it looked like it took you one minute to write that out," EB said. "You gave no explanation. You gave no detail. You just said 'he's nubbs and he needs money.'"
"Here's the thing," Rohit said. "I did it on Sunday morning at like 9:30. I had put in 20 bucks. I was like oh, 20 bucks, that's enough. Within 15 minutes, six people had put in money and it was 40 or 50 bucks each. And that was Sunday morning. So if he would have let it go, I'm sure it would have gotten up to 5, 10, 15K. I don't get it. It's his wishes. I respect it. I shut it down immediately."
"He doesn't want people to think he's nubbs," EB said.
Still clearly concerned people might think he's nubbs, Drab rebuffed Rohit once more: "Rohit, did you not see the comments of people saying, 'Why would you give him money? He's fine. His family has money. He invests.'"
"Number one, they're trolls," Rohit countered. "There were only two of them. And there were six people who donated in a heartbeat, 40 or 50 bucks. So there's people that care."
"So, hold on," Bish said. "So Drabby, you're telling me if I offered you a thousand dollars towards that bill, you wouldn't take it? Which I won't! But you wouldn't take it?"
"No, he might take it if it was private," Bickel said. "He doesn't want people to think he's nubbs."
"No, that's actually not even true," Drab said. "Because a Washington Post reporter, Neil Greenberg, texted me and said: 'Dude, what's going on? Do you need me to send you diapers? Do you need anything? How can I help you?'"
"Very nice of Neil," Bickel said. "Very nice."
"I'm not felted!" Drab insisted.
"See, it's his pride," Bickel said.
"I've got investments all over the place," Drab flexed. "I drive a 2020 vehicle!"
"Now he's flexing!" joaned JP.
"See? See? He doesn't want people to think he's nubbs," EB said. "That's the bottom line."
"No, no. GoFundMe is nubbs," Drab said. "If you're Pastor Jacques and your house burns down, and you've got eight disabled children at home, I get it. You need a GoFundMe. Not if you're Drab T-Shirt from The Junkies!"
JP then recalled that this wasn't the first bad idea Rohit's brought to the show, saying, "Was he the guy that years ago wanted to do like some sort of fantasy football spreadsheet for us?"
"Yes!" Cakes said. "He's the king of bad ideas!"
"I was pissed at you guys and you didn't even want to talk to me," Rohit said.
"He's just a nice person," EB said.
"I'm an idea guy," Rohit replied. "I come up with ideas."
"Two bad ideas!" Drab zinged.
Rohit ultimately ended up refunding all the money, he explained, to anyone who contributed to Drab's ill-fated GoFundMe.
"Let me tell you," Drab said. "Eighty percent of people would turn that down. What I don't understand is that he has my phone number, I guess. He texted me after it went up to ask me if it was okay."
"I'm part of the 20 percent, though, Drabby," Bish admitted (to literally no one's surprise). "Because remember when I first opened my Venmo account? And I threw it out there, I threw the address out there, and, I don't know, six, seven people donated? I didn't refund it."
"Of course not," EB said. "I did the same thing."
"One-hundred bucks," Bish recalled. "I'm taking it."
As if anyone was still confused about what the issue was, EB hilariously summarized Drab's feelings once more.
"Here's the thing," EB said. "Drabby, he's like approaching 40. He's a producer on a radio show. He doesn't want people to think he's nubbs. But he's also Assistant Program Director. He's got his other gigs. So he's a little sensitive."
"Eric, people thought I was behind the GoFundMe," Drab said. "They thought I was out there on the street corner begging for money!"
In lieu of real dollars to Drab's GoFundMe campaign, people can donate their attention dollars to The Junkies' video highlights page.
