(670 The Score) If you're looking for dramatic storylines in the wake of their 33-22 loss to the Arizona Cardinals on Sunday, you have to really care about the Bears.
Thousands of those sufficiently motivated to brave December's icy rain and populate Soldier Field had seen enough by halftime to pack it in, and thousands more did so before the final whistle, leaving fewer than what's apparently the quorum required by the by-laws for a properly organized chorus of "Fire Nagy."
That's the upside of Sunday's outcome. The rest is just more of the same, another perfunctory marking point on the sad slide toward somewhere very far away from anything important.
It's the latest grim march to the inevitable, as familiar as ever.
Andy Dalton's four interceptions seemed about right, living down to his current existence as the symbol of coach Matt Nagy's last-gasp commitment to whatever he thinks offense is. Dalton was "QB 1," remember, the magical vessel of passing competence and judgment poised to reveal the ancient secrets buried in a pile of laminated and multicolored cards.
If I were Justin Fields, I would've considered sneaking out after two quarters with so many of the waterlogged masses, disguising myself in a knockoff Gale Sayers jersey, slinking out to the parking lot, getting a ride to O'Hare and moving to a remote and temperate island until there's reason to think better times are ahead -- feet up and pina colada in hand until otherwise informed.
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There were random Bears on the spongy turf doing random Bears things, this rickety roster now down to too many borderline NFL players. General manager Ryan Pace watched from a glass booth high above the fray, seemingly insulated from both the banal and desultory activity below and any consequence for having masterminded it. Jimmy Graham's touchdown and two-point conversion felt like trolling through no fault of his, reminding us of so much money ill-timed and misdirected and weighing against the near future.
Everyone agreed to gather for yet another civic recognition of incompetence, for some reason we try in vain to explain to ourselves.
Nagy had a walkie-talkie pressed to the side of his face for most of the second half after the headset communication system was either shorted out by water or had wires chewed through by rats also wondering if he was calling plays again. Nagy insisted he was only relaying offensive coordinator Bill Lazor's decisions to Dalton, as if that matters anymore. If he were singing "Sir Joseph's Barge is Green" from H.M.S. Pinafore, who could possibly tell what difference it would make?
I almost wish that I had gone to this game merely to have savored the feeling of leaving it.
Rookie tackle Teven Jenkins was active for this one, at least nominally. But Nagy says the plan is for him to do something other than play football now and instead provide "depth."
That sounds ominous, considering the hole in which this franchise resides.
The experience of the day and the Bears fortunes converged on each other Sunday and became indistinguishable -- cold, soggy, utterly predictable and unlikely to improve anytime soon.
Dan Bernstein is the co-host of the Bernstein & Rahimi Show on middays from 9 a.m. until noon on 670 The Score. You can follow him on Twitter @Dan_Bernstein.
