(670 The Score) Let's face it: Thanksgiving can be a challenge. There's the traveling and the small talk and the 3-7 Chicago Bears. More often than not, what starts as a day of celebration and togetherness quickly melts into a chaotic mess of screaming and heartburn. Why are there so many potato sides? A toss sweep on third-and-4? The day basically sets itself up for failure. Preparedness is key when you have to make it through four quarters of Bears football before four hours of dinner table group discussions, so we've put together a helpful guide on how to talk about your – let's call them animated – relatives about the Chicago Bears this Thanksgiving.
(Probably older) Relative: Justin Fields isn't ready. What happened to letting a quarterback sit and watch for a year? Steve Young backed up Joe Montana for four.
You'll hear this a bunch, so it's important to get out ahead of this now. The most important aspect to remember about this argument is that it simply doesn't matter. Fields is the starting quarterback, except for Thursday, when he's not. But you get it. Because this argument is, admittedly, triggering in lots of different ways, I can't blame you for wanting to respond. You'll want to take a deep breath -- and then a second -- before calmly looking them in the eye and diving deep into an explanation for why that's just bad economics. Take them to Over The Cap. Tie in some colorful details from the collective bargaining last year. This is effective in two ways: Not only is it factually correct (a not-unimportant factor when arguing with family) but it's also boring as hell and will surely drive them away in minutes.
(Definitely older) Relative: The offense stinks, but the real shame is how far this defense has fallen. If you play in Chicago, you respect defense. Richard Dent would have never let Tyler Huntley back into that game Sunday. Millennials only care about TikTok now.
Start by defending TikTok, a vital source of joy in the otherwise bleak gray dump commonly known as the internet. Then point out that Khalil Mack, Akiem Hicks and Eddie Jackson have all missed big chunks of the season, but a word of caution: Be prepared to fight the Eddie Jackson fight right after. He wasn't paid to be a tacking box safety, you'll say, but it would be nice to see him wrap up more. Still, you'll insist, his presence on the field is sorely missed. They'll wonder if he really deserved to be on a cereal box already and you'll remember, oh yeah, he was on a cereal box and who cares. You remind them that a lot of Jackson's value comes from stuff that doesn't show up on the broadcast, and they excitedly stumble to get the words "like tackling?!?" out of their mouth fast enough. This isn't a battle you can win in 2021 – live for another day and go get some more stuffing.
Shop for the latest Bears team gear here.
Relative: Ryan Pace can't pick a quarterback, but look at what he's done behind the scenes for the team. There's no denying he's modernized the business. We could use a savvy, steady hand like his during the move to Arlington Heights!
You have to come prepared here. The Pace lobby isn't large, but they're cunning and they know how to pick their spots. His late-round draft record *is* commendable. Halas Hall's gadgets *are* fun to look at. He's got the executive schtick down to a science, and people are charmed by it. The best approach: Talk about the quarterbacks, early and often. You simply can't overstate the Mike Glennon era. If it comes to it, close your eyes, plug your ears and chant 45-61 – Pace's record as Bears general manager – repeatedly. Do whatever you have to do, because there will come a moment during this conversation where a part of your brain thinks, yeah, maybe he could be a good senior advisor to football operations. That maybe all he needs to succeed is another promotion. Remember your training here – 45-61, the January press conferences, Jimmy Graham's contract.
Relative: What the Bears need to do is bring in someone who knows how to win. Why wouldn't they look at ___ 1985 Bears player or coach ___?
Just pivot to politics.
Cam Ellis is a writer for 670 The Score and Audacy Sports. Follow him on Twitter @KingsleyEllis.
