We’re only a week into the college basketball season and while it’s been entertaining in spurts (for those who enjoy a good spectacle, Gonzaga and Michigan State just got finished playing on an aircraft carrier), fans tuning in at this early juncture are of the understanding the quality of play won’t be tournament-caliber for quite some time as teams and players continue to work their way back into shape, dusting off the cobwebs after a nearly eight-month hiatus from competitive hoops.
That rust was never more evident than in Tuesday night’s slop-fest between Georgetown and Northwestern, a game that produced 28 total turnovers including three within a 15-second span in the first half.
Congratulations to the Hoyas and Wildcats for setting the sport back decades with this mind-melting train wreck, a hilariously unhinged sequence that, if it were a studio movie, would never have made the final cut, or even the bonus footage released on DVD and Blu-Ray.
“Well I wouldn’t call that last sequence a Picasso,” remarked FS1 announcer Brandon Gaudin with the exasperation of someone in need of a very stiff cocktail after calling one of the worst college basketball possessions in recent memory, an escalating series of mistakes, each inexplicable lapse more embarrassing than the last.
We could theorize all day what led to this complete and utter breakdown of fundamentals. Inexperience would have been a convenient excuse, if not for the fact Georgetown and Northwestern start a combined eight upperclassmen including six seniors. But maybe this colossal display of incompetence doesn’t require a thesis-level explanation.
As anyone who’s ever lived the cruel agony of three-putting for double-bogey on the 18th green can attest, sports are, by and large, an exercise in failure, equal parts soul-crushing and impossibly difficult. Sometimes, it’s as simple as bad teams (neither team so much as sniffed March Madness last spring with Georgetown finishing the year on a 21-game losing streak) playing poorly.
Someone had to win Tuesday night’s comedy of errors, and that someone happened to be Northwestern, escaping with a 75-63 victory in a game attended by 5,518 fans, all of them left questioning what horrible life decisions led them to wasting two hours witnessing the desecration of one of America’s oldest and most beloved sports.