There was a song in the 2012 animated film adaptation of Dr. Seuss's "The Lorax" titled "Everybody Needs A Thneed." What's a Thneed, you ask? It's a bizarre object from the Seussian world full of bizarre objects, defined as a "highly versatile object knitted from the foliage of a Truffula Tree" and priced at $3.98, per Dr. Seuss Wiki.
At this point, if you haven't clicked out of the article yet, you may find yourself asking why a sportswriter is rambling about a "Thneed." And I'm happy to tell you that it isn't a completely random reference, nor is it even my own reference. After Wizards forward Kyle Kuzma showed up in one of the most ridiculous pregame outfits we've ever seen, it just so happens that a Thneed was the finest comparison that came out of hundreds of players, analysts and fans trying to categorize what Kuz was wearing. Perhaps he listened to the aforementioned song and it really resonated with him.