CBS analyst Adam Archuleta was wrong about pretty much everything during Patriots-Dolphins

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CBS analyst Adam Archuleta matched the Patriots’ brutal performance Sunday in Miami. The ex-safety was wrong all afternoon long.

His worst moment came late in the second quarter, when the Dolphins were driving into Patriots territory with the clock winding down. Miami head coach Mike McDaniel made the gutsy decision to throw on 4th-and-7 from New England’s 42-yard line with 18 seconds remaining, and Archuleta immediately second-guessed him.

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“I don’t know if I really love this decision,” he said.

Clearly, Archuleta was speaking from a place of conventional wisdom. The Dolphins were leading 10-0 and could’ve just taken their two-score lead into the locker room. But McDaniel opted to take advantage of a chance to extend the lead, and the Patriots’ offense playing like garbage. Even if Miami failed to convert, it’s hard to imagine the Patriots would’ve mustered up anything productive from their side of the field with a few ticks remaining in the half.

Sure enough, McDaniel’s faith was rewarded. Tua Tagovailoa found a streaking Jaylen Waddle over the middle of the field for a 47-yard score, as the speedy wideout split the Patriots’ safeties.

When the play was over, Archuleta completed an about-face. His play-by-play partner, Greg Gumbel, couldn’t stifle his laughter.

“Greg, I loved that decision,” Archuleta said. “I love it if you’re a Dolphins fan.”

One could surmise that Archuleta was facetious and poking fun at himself, but that’s kind of doubtful. His idea of a playful anecdote is telling viewers that the queen owns every dolphin in the U.K.

“I assume she owns everything,” muttered Gumbel.

In the second half, Archuleta wrongly said the Dolphins were going to blitz when they wound up rushing three, and missed a key chop block penalty on the Patriots, which effectively killed their first drive of the fourth quarter. It was a fitting error: Archuleta was generous towards the Patriots all afternoon long.

He even had kind things to say about Mac Jones right before he fumbled the ball in front of the end zone, resulting in an easy-and-score for the Dolphins.

“They’ve been able to move the ball pretty well,” said Archuleta.

He was right about one thing: the ball did move on the play. That’s the closest Archuleta came to a correct call all afternoon.