So it seems everyone, from the ball boy to Boomer Esiason, is quivering with excitement over the Knicks.
We're told they have two cap coffins for max-contract players. On top of that, the Knicks are sure to pluck the magic ball from the draft lottery, assuring them the first pick in the draft, and the rights to the hardwood genius of Zion Williamson.
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Forget that the Knicks haven't won the lottery since 1985, when Dave DeBusschere's toothy dance signaled the start of the Patrick Ewing era. Forget that the NBA changed the rules so that the team with the worst record has only a 14 percent shot at the No.1 pick and a 40.1 percent chance at a top-three pick. Forget that said team could pick as low as No. 5.
Also, consider the NBA's three worst teams each have an equal shot at the top pick. This was designed to deter teams from tanking the entire season, giving a 10-72 team no better chance at the best college player than a 15-67 club, provided both are among the three worst teams in the league.
So right now the Phoenix Suns, at 12-50, have a 14 percent shot at Zion. The Knicks, at 13-49, have the same chance. Likewise, the 15-47 Cleveland Cavaliers have an equal shot at the Duke phenom. But right behind this most unholy trinity are the 17-45 Chicago Bulls, who have a 12.5 percent chance at Williamson. Even the 21-41 Atlanta Hawks have a 10.5 percent chance at the top draft pick. (This assumes, of course, that these are the five worst teams in the NBA at the end of the season.)
Even when the Knicks execute a proper draft -- about as often as a solar eclipse -- they still find a way to muck it up. Phil Jackson's only tangible contribution for his $60 million anvil of a contract was landing the league's unicorn. Yet despite playing in the American media vortex, with Madison Avenue ready to make it rain on his youthful good looks, Kristaps Porzingis couldn't wait to get the heck out of Gotham. Porzingis was so contemptuous of all things Knickerbocker, he spent every free moment in Europe rather than work on his game with his teammates. He rathered play in Dallas, the aorta of football country and home of the Cowboys, rather than spend another minute in Madison Square Garden.
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On top of the daunting stats is the haunting history of the Knicks, a club 46 years deep into their championship drought. You may also consider the overall repellant the team has become to high-end free agents and its reputation for being brick-hard toward the media or anyone who voices concern or contempt for the organization.
Then we have the dream offseason, through bubbles of two Hall of Fame talents migrating to the Big Apple. Specifically, fans are drooling at the prospect of Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving leaving winning teams to joining a perennial loser. In the case of Irving, he has become exponentially dissatisfied over Boston and the Celtics, a team and town he thought would worship him while he pulled a LeBron and lifted them to the NBA Finals. His postgame interviews have become increasingly monosyllabic, grunting his way through questions, eyes gazed upon the ground.
But at least Irving has professed his love for NYC, a few 3-pointers from his hometown of West Orange, New Jersey. Durant would be leaving a dynasty, and his lofty life with the Golden State Warriors, quite likely to grant Durant his third-straight NBA title. If he stays in Oakland, Durant could win a ring for five fingers, laminate his legacy as an all-time great, and challenge his eternal tormentor, LeBron James, on the sport's totem pole.
Or both Durant and Irving could roll the dice and join the Knicks, spending their winters on the frostbitten streets of Seventh Avenue. No doubt the Knicks would be vastly improved with Irving, Durant and Williamson. It's also quite unlikely to happen. Too many improbable events have to break the Knicks' way just to get the top draft pick, much less courting two NBA champions to step into that hardwood mausoleum that pretends to be the Mecca of basketball.
Are Irving and Durant, whose teams are a combined 80-44, really fantasizing about a 13-49 dumpster fire still trading on spotty footage of Willis Reed in 1970? It's tough to imagine Durant's bedtime thoughts going like this: "Steve Kerr can't coach. What I really need is the Fiz! Why play with Steph Curry when I can team up with Frank Ntilikina? Forget Klay Thompson when I can ball with Damyean Dotson! Who needs Draymond Green when I can suit up with a DeAndre Jordan!"
Like most things with losing teams, fans live in a world of theory. They dwell in what's possible, not in what's probable. If you look at the best teams in sports, from the Patriots to the Yankees to the Red Sox to the Warriors, they are owned by smart people who hire smarter people to make team decisions.
There is a fundamental flaw in the Knicks that starts from the top and oozes down the rungs of power. The Knicks aren't an attractive destination because they are an ugly basketball team. There's no loyalty or consistency or top-tier competence that echos around the arena. It means they won't attract winners until they stop acting like losers.
Follow Jason on Twitter at @JasonKeidel
