Evan goes scorched earth on Jets while declaring season 'dead'

The Jets lost in blowout fashion to the Cardinals on Sunday afternoon in a game they had to have to keep their slim playoff hopes alive.

With the effort they put in on Sunday, and the result, Evan says fans can close out of the NFL standings tab on their laptops and pack it up for the year, because this team is dead.

With that, he proceeded to write a scathing eulogy of the state of the franchise and how things came apart in such epic fashion in a year that was supposed to be one of the Jets’ most successful in recent memory.

“I hate football,” Evan said. “You score six points against the Arizona Cardinals? Six?? You can’t tackle ME right now!

“I promise you, I can tackle better than this Jets team...Sauce Gardner, who is so beyond overrated, can’t tackle [Trey] McBride?”

The Jets defense, thought to be a strength of the team and one of the best units in the league, continued its shocking run of listlessness by allowing Kyler Murray to complete 17 straight passes while the Cardinals ran wild, continuing to expose Gang Green while effectively ending the organization’s most hyped season in over a decade.

Evan didn’t have the answers to why this season failed to spectacularly, but that didn’t stop him from ripping the team’s collective effort.

“That was pathetic,” Evan said. “Twenty missed tackles and a quarterback who can’t get in the end zone. I hate football!

“How did they become so putrid? How did they become so pathetic?”