There was a song in the 2012 animated film adaptation of Dr. Seuss's "The Lorax" titled "Everybody Needs A Thneed." What's a Thneed, you ask? It's a bizarre object from the Seussian world full of bizarre objects, defined as a "highly versatile object knitted from the foliage of a Truffula Tree" and priced at $3.98, per Dr. Seuss Wiki.
At this point, if you haven't clicked out of the article yet, you may find yourself asking why a sportswriter is rambling about a "Thneed." And I'm happy to tell you that it isn't a completely random reference, nor is it even my own reference. After Wizards forward Kyle Kuzma showed up in one of the most ridiculous pregame outfits we've ever seen, it just so happens that a Thneed was the finest comparison that came out of hundreds of players, analysts and fans trying to categorize what Kuz was wearing. Perhaps he listened to the aforementioned song and it really resonated with him.
But first, we'll let you have a look at his interesting — and that's an understatement — fashion statement from Tuesday night. To be fair, I like to dress in plain grey or navy shirts, so I might not be the best judge of taste here. Luckily, social media was eager to weigh in, too, and we'll get to that later.
Ok, so... what are we looking at, here? It looks like the clothing version of melted strawberry ice cream. It looks like it could be a carpet in Hogwarts professor Dolores Umbridge's office. It looks like... well, a Thneed — and thank you, Rich Eisen, for introducing this wonderful item into my life.
Here are some of the best reactions from Twitter:
And then there were those who commented on the Wizards forward's Instagram post of the same picture, opting not to compliment him for his look but to provide brutally honest feedback about just how ridiculous it was.
— LeBron James: "Ain't no f---ing way you wore that!! ... I'm not pressing the like button cause this is outrageous Kuz!"
— J.R. Smith: "Man hellll nawwwwwww"
— Isaiah Thomas: "Come on killa... lol that one ain't it haha"
— Michael Rapaport: "My Man WTF is you doing"
— Anthony Davis: "You're outta line sir!!!!"
— Troy Daniels: "Okay you my dog but I'm drawing the line here."
Welp. It's worth wondering whether or not he'll ever where that... thing again after all the negative reviews. If he does, it's probably because he doesn't want his money to go to waste — that Raf Simmons oversized-sleeve sweater costs nearly $1,700! It didn't seem to affect his play, however, as he posted his seventh double-double of the season with 11 points and 13 rebounds to go along with five assists. It's been that kind of season for Kuzma, whose rebounding numbers (9.4 per game) far surpass the next closest season in terms of his production on the glass, when he averaged 6.3 boards per game his rookie year.
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