Not all Girl Scout Cookies are created equal.
Some, like Thin Mints, are pure heaven. Others -- cough, shortbread, cough -- leave something to be desired.
Keep in mind, results may vary depending on where you live, since the Scouts employ two bakers who supply different cookies to different regions.
So how do you pick which beloved Girl Scout cookie to wash down with that inspired cup of coffee?
Finally settling this dispute (until a new cookie is released to unsettle things), here is a definitive ranking of the 2020 Girl Scout Cookie line-up from worst to best.
Yep, S’mores are at the bottom of the list because they are a lie. S’mores, by definition, are sandwiches. In some regions, the Girl Scout S’mores follow this basic formula, with wafers sandwiching fudge and frosting for an altogether acceptable riff. But elsewhere in the country, the S’mores peddled by the nefarious Scouts have chocolate on the outside, with vanilla and wafer on the inside. This is simply unacceptable.
Do you like vanilla and beige and movie credits and sitting in traffic? You probably like shortbread cookies, and you should be ashamed. Sibling to shortbread, the Trefoils available in some areas are butterier and slightly heftier, but only infinitesimally tastier.
There are many great gluten-free cookies in the world. These are not them. At once crumbly and teeth-coating thanks to little landmines of toffee studded throughout, they’re hard to eat and harder to recommend.
7 Lemonades / Lemon-Ups
Sure, fine, acceptable -- these are all words you could use to describe Lemonades. Notably absent: delicious, satisfying, craveable. Better than shortbread, worse than the rest. Replacing the Savannah Smiles that actually brought smiles to some faces, the Girl Scouts’ newest cookie, Lemon-Ups are outfitted with inspirational messages of young female empowerment like “I Am a Leader.” The feel-good cookies mostly feel good in theory, though the fun vibes put them a step above their lemony counterpart.
Available in some markets, these feature inspirational messages similar to Lemon-Ups, but they replace the lemon with fudge. In literally any book, fudge beats lemon, so Thanks-a-Lot gets the nod (even if the name could use work).
5 Caramel Chocolate Chip
Remember those gluten-free cookies that are actually tasty? These are some of them. They’re like a chocolate chip cookie bolstered by caramel, aka good.
4 Peanut Butter Sandwich / Do-si-do
If you’re confused between the Peanut Butter Sandwich and the Do-si-do, remember the one with the funner name also packs more flavor. That said, the boring Peanut Butter Sandwich is still pretty delicious, though really, how could it go wrong? Like a next-level Peanut Butter Sandwich, the Do-si-do in select markets leans heavier on the peanut butter, with all around richer flavors that play well with the wonderfully crunchy exterior.
3 Peanut Butter Patties / Tagalongs
Great branding, great flavor, great layering of peanut and cookie -- Tagalongs are the best peanut Girl Scout Cookie. Meanwhile, joining the PBS above in slightly inferior peanut buttery ok-ness, Peanut Butter Patties pale in comparison to true Tagalongs, but they add a nice vanilla note to the peanut butter and cookie crunch.
2 Caramel deLites / Samoas
The only example of a cookie with two great names, Caramel deLites / Samoas also both perform well in any honest ranking. Sure, coconut can be divisive, but the Scouts have expertly balanced the flavor against caramel and chocolate, and done it all in an attractive package. While the two cookies are very close, the slightly toastier coconut and darker chocolate on Samoas ultimately give them more complex flavor that’s hard to ignore.
1 Thin Mints
Whether you get them crunchy and minty, or smooth and chocolatey, Thin Mints are king.