
My heart broke this morning when I opened my phone and saw the black and white photo of Chrissy Teigen crying in a hospital bed with the headline "Chrissy Teigen loses baby after pregnancy complications" because I know that gut wrenching heartbreak.
If you've been through a pregnancy loss, I'm so, so sorry. I've been there too and it's something that you never forget and something that changes who you are as a person. I was 9 weeks pregnant in the Spring of 2012. I had some bleeding and cramping and I called my doctor. They did some bloodwork on a Friday and then again on that Monday. The next day I was actually putting my mascara on when the doctor called and said the numbers don't look good and I need to come in immediately the next day for an ultrasound. I told the doctor I was headed to a family party where we were actually bringing a cake announcing our pregnancy and I asked if I should make that announcement?
She paused and said "It's up to you, but these numbers have me very concerned." My husband and I decided to not make the announcement until we knew more.
The next day, with my Mom by my side holding my hand I went in for my second ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. I lost it and my Mom held me while I screamed and cried the kind of cry where your whole soul hurts. A part of me died that day too. My baby was gone and 8 years later I still think about that baby every day and wished the outcome could've been different. I do find comfort in knowing that I carried that baby every second of his or her life and my baby knew how much he/she was loved.
And there were some really loving things that people said and did after our loss, but there we some hurtful things too.
It's hard to know what to say and that's OK, but please, be sensitive and compassionate towards those that have experienced this loss.
If you have a story to share, I'm here for you. Please reach out at Facebook.com/ElizabethKay
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