We are in the homestretch and boy are they stretching out this finale. It feels like both Bachelorettes have had no guys left for weeks. Gabby literally only has Erich and spoiler, Rachel is about to be down two in the first two minutes: Aven and Tino.
It’s a live taping so we are forced to watch the show, then watch Jesse and the Bachelorettes interact in front of a studio audience. Rachel has dyed her hair like a brownish gray… it looks good but I think I like the blonde better.
We pick up the episode in Mexico with Zach interrupting Rachel during the Rose Ceremony.
Here is my interpretation of their interaction:
Zach is like ‘that vibe was real weird between us in the Fantasy Suite, right?’
Rachel is like ‘Totes.’
Zach’s like ‘you didn’t seem like yourself. You’re fake.’
Rachel’s like, ‘No I just realized that you weren’t the one for me, that’s all.’
Zach’s like, ‘Yeah, real weird vibe. I’m going to dismiss myself from this Rose Ceremony before you send me home.’
Rachel’s like ‘I don’t like you but how dare you leave!’
And that’s pretty much it. Then we have to watch Rachel and Zach talk in the studio. It’s very amicable and PC. They both apologize and tell each other there’s no need to apologize. Moving on!
AVEN MEETS RACHEL’S FAMILY
Rachel’s got her dad, BIG TONY, and her mom (who is adorable btw), and her two best friends, Nate and Sam, “who are very opinionated.” Nate will be playing the role of the typical gay best friend. We love Nate.
Aven is off to a good start by bringing flowers for mom and a cigar for Big Tony. Big Tony is the first to ask Aven to speak privately. Let the grilling begin. Aven is all smiles though.
Aven wins over Big Tony and mom but has a difficult conversation with the BFFs. They ask him if he’s ready to propose in 5 days and he’s like, ‘well I love Rachel and want to be with her after this but I don’t know if I’m ready to propose blah blah blah’. The BFFs are not happy about this since Rachel told them prior that Aven was ‘so ready for an engagement’.
Nate’s like, ‘dude if she comes home not engaged that is not going to be good.’ Aven tries to explain his feelings, "I want to be with Rachel at the end of this. I want to have a life with her. And I want the engagement aspect of it to be perfect… I want it to be a one-time shot for us. I can 1,000 percent see myself getting there." This is all very level headed and fair but he is forgetting he’s on a reality show where the sole purpose is to get engaged at the end.
This means that BFFs Nate and Sam have to be the bearer of bad news and tell Rachel that Aven is actually not ready to propose in 5 days.
Rachel responds by taking a swig of her champagne. “This is like shoooocking.”
BFFs Sam and Nate try to assure Rachel that Aven is genuine in his feelings for her and that he does truly want to be with her, but all Rachel hears is, "No ring."
Then the torturous part of the episode begins when Rachel confronts Aven about how he’s feeling. They talk in circles. They raise their voices. Rachel cries. They hug. They kiss. Rachel cries. It’s all too much.
Erich Meets Gabby’s Family
Well, being that Erich is the only one left I hope Gabby’s family likes him! Gabby’s Grandpa has some choice words about him but he’s only kidding. He follows up with, ‘I like Erich, he’s a keeper.’
Erich says all the right things and Gabby gets emotional thinking about if and when Erich is going to break her heart because she’s got a lot of emotional issues stemming from her mother.
Her aunt consoles Gabby during her unprompted breakdown and offers great advice. Go Aunt.
Tino meets Rachel’s Family
Okay I think you know how I feel about Tino at this point… not a big fan. He appears very nervous and is struggling to make small talk with Rachel's family. He’s giving one word answers to mom but then assures her that his family will learn to love Rachel because he loves Rachel. Somehow he wins over mom and Big Tony. I don’t get the appeal. Moving on!
Rachel and Aven Talk in circles once again
Oh great, we’ve got to watch Rachel and Aven say the same things to each other over and over again for an unnecessary amount of time! It ends with Rachel saying, "I want to be engaged. I want someone who's sure about me. I'm not willing to sacrifice that at the end of the day."
Did she just break up with him?!? Yes. Yes she did.
Cut to the live studio and we get to watch Rachel and Aven see each other for the first time since that ‘heartbreaking’ break up. Aven apologizes for blindsiding her. Rachel accepts. It’s all goodie. I think Rachel is still currently single and trying to keep her options open.
WHY IS THIS SHOW EXTENDED ANOTHER 15 MINUTES?!
In a cruel joke, Jesse Palmer tells us that ABC has allowed them to extend the show another 15 minutes. It’s already been two hours of nothing!!! What is so important? It’s the possible demise of Gabby and Erich. Pretty much Erich is like ‘hey I wanna date you after this show, not so sure about getting engaged in 5 days but I love ya and I wanna date ya.’ Gabby has the same reaction and Rachel, ‘I came here to get engaged. What the heck!’ She leaves the room crying and calling this whole thing a ‘Big fat dumpster fire.’ You are not wrong, Gabby. You are not wrong.
This big fat dumpster fire will finally come to an end next week! Then we count down the days to the real show… BACHELOR IN PARADISE BABY!
Want more Boss's Bachelorette Breakdown? Read last week's recap below.
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