It's Boss' Bachelorette Breakdown, Baby! Here's how it works: I watch the show, I drink some wine, I take some notes. Then, I try to make sense of those notes and write a recap for you. So hereeee we go!
Somehow we’re at Hometowns even though we barely know who these guys are. Let’s never have two Bachelorettes again, okay ABC? Not enough screen time for anybody (except for Logan for reasons I will never understand).
Gabby’s Hometown with Jason | New Orleans
Well that’s pretty cool, I’d like to go to New Orleans! Gabby and Jason dance on Bourbon Street and it’s so goofy. Gabby tries to get an old man to show her his boobs for some beads. The man refuses.
Jason’s parents are divorced so it’ll be a two part family meet and greet. First up is Jason’s dad who is so cute! He is crying already! He has a super Southern accent and he’s just making me smile.
Jason and his dad chat. Poppa Jason says he’s getting a little emotional because Gabby could be his daughter in law. He also pleads that if ‘this is the real deal, I want to be the best man at your wedding’. LOL.
They eat beignets and oh my goodness it looks so delicious. How do we get one here?
Next they go to Jason’s house and meet his mom and sister. Jason’s mom is bawling happy tears and Jason’s sister is a smokeshow… and so nice! I wouldn’t be surprised if she ends up on this franchise at some point.
Gabby asks his mom and sister if they think she’s a good match for Jason since he’s so reserved and she’s so… not. They both agree it’s a good balance. Gabby is super lucky with how super supportive Jason’s family is… poor girl is not going to see this coming….
Jason tells his mom “I can never see myself getting engaged… that’s just not something I can see myself doing at this point.” WHAT THE HECK!? Why are you on this show then!? I mean, it makes sense. You are actually level headed if you’re not ready to get married after having two dates with someone… BUT DON’T EXPRESS THAT UP IN HERE ON THE BACHELORETTE!!!
His mom is like what are you doing son… you’re killing me.
Oh wow and he’s not even going to tell Gabby this… just going to keep stringing her along eh.
Rachel’s hometown with Zach | Anaheim, CA
Oh no, they’re riding bikes again.
Aww okay this is cute. He planned a date on top of a building where they can watch airplanes fly. Their favorite childhood pastime.
They go to meet Zach’s family and HIS FAMILY INCLUDES HIS UNCLE PAT AKA PATRICK WARBURTON, PUDDY FROM SEINFELD! Zach wins hometowns for this. What’s very strange is that they make the family watch Rachel and Zach’s journey on a projector… complete with a hot tub makeout sesh. Uncle Puddy looks less than amused. Rachel looks mortified.
Gabby’s hometown with Johnny | Palm Beach, FL
Hmm, right now I would pick Johnny because HELLO Palm Beach!!!
Gabby tells the camera, “Johnny’s super hot. He knows it, I know it, you know it.”
Do I know it?? I guess he’s growing on me?
He does have a good looking family. I love Johnny’s dad.. I don’t really remember why I wrote this or why I love him but … apparently I do.
Johnny tells his parents that he’s not ready to get married either… come on, poor Gab!!! Regardless, they ride off on a boat into the sunset. I would still pick Johnny... HELLO BOAT!
Rachel’s hometown with Tyler | Wildwood, NJ
Yay finally in Wildwood!!!
Rachel’s like “Oh my gosh, the Jersey Shore!” That show really did a doozy on us, huh.
The two spend the day on the boardwalk and it’s a pretty fun date. She meets a bunch of his friends and cousins…
Oh no…. aww poor Tyler. She’s gonna break up with him before she meets his fam??!! Whatcha got against the Jersey Shore!?!?
How is Tyler not noticing her reaction during any of this?!?! Tyler is just talking nonstop about how much he loves her… and Rachel looks like she’s going to die. She can’t figure out what’s missing… I’ll tell you what’s not working for you girl, it’s because he’s too nice. Rachel needs drama. She needs a Tino Tantrum!
She tells Tyler that she's not ready to meet his family… even though she invited him to hometowns week. LOL.
Awww he’s so sweet. He handles it very well. He will thrive in Paradise!
Oh what twisted hell is this?!! We have to watch Tyler tell his family she’s not coming. Tyler’s mom looks like she’s going to go Hulk mode to protect her baby boy.
Poor guy. Well luckily he doesn’t have to “get sent home” too far. Hehe.
Gabby’s Hometown with Mullet Erich | Bedminster, NJ
Oh no, Erich’s dad has terminal cancer. :(
Grandma & Grandpa are also there and they are super cute! Grandpa watched her on the Bachelor. Grandpa’s a member of Bachelor Nation!!
Gabby and Erich have a sweet conversation with Erich’s Dad. He shares how much he loves and respects ICU nurses.
Momma Erich preaches the power of commitment in a marriage.
Overall, a very nice hometown visit. Erich tells Gabby he’s falling in love with her. Whoa!!! Gabby tells him she’s falling in love with him!!! Holy smokes!
Rachel’s Hometown with Tino | Santa Clarita, CA
Okay here we go – here’s the family that likes to be difficult and act like they’ve never heard of the rules of this show before.
Tino’s dad asks, “aren’t there other guys?”
Tino: “Yeah, but they’re striking out.”
Tino’s all like ‘when you know you know’ and Daddyo is like… uh NO.
Both Tino’s mom and dad take turns grilling Rachel and making her feel unwelcomed and dumb.
Somehow, Rachel makes it out alive and quickly tells Tino, ‘I think they hate me’ to which he lies and promises they like her…. nobody believes him.
Despite a rough meeting, Tino tells Rachel he’s falling in love with her. Oh wow she says it back!!! Yikes! The Drama!
Poor Aven. I guess we’ll see your hometown next week before the Men Tell All.
Want more Boss's Bachelorette Breakdown? Read last week's recap below.
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