I used to be one of the self-proclaimed cool kids who boasted about hating Jack Edwards’ hyperactive announcing style. I thought his exaggerated soliloquies were painful and found his rampant homerism repugnant. Then I stopped taking myself so seriously.
We’re talking about a hometown hockey announcer, after all. Isn’t he supposed to be some sort of mascot?
Edwards is the most polarizing sports broadcaster in Boston. Some fans think his excessive cheerleading is endearing, while others say it’s straight up obnoxious. On Wednesday night, we received the full Jack Experience. When Bruins forward Craig Smith hit his wraparound game-winner in the second overtime, Edwards’ voice cracked with excitement, though he was still able to rattle off one of his trademark cheesy one-liners. That, my friends, is professionalism.
“WASHINGTON TOOK A NAP, AND CRAIG SMITH ANSWERS THE WAKE-UP CALL!,” Edwards screamed, while banging the plexiglass in the booth. (Don’t be surprised if Andy Brickley petitions the NESN higher-ups to keep the partition even when COVID-19 restrictions lift next weekend.)
Edwards started calling Bruins games during the 2005-06 season, right before they emerged from their maddening 15-year stretch of Eastern Conference mediocrity. It was perfect timing: The Bruins’ surprise seven-game series with the vaunted Canadians in 2008 reignited the fervor for professional hockey across New England, and Edwards was euphoric. His first viral call came in the closing minutes of Game 6, when Phil Kessel scored the eventual game-winner to send the series back to Montreal.
“THIS BUILDING IS VIBRATING!”
The following year, when the Bruins swept the Canadians out of the playoffs, Edwards harkened back to the Revolutionary War, when — say it together now — “a bunch of rag-tag farmers stood up against the greatest fighting force in the world.”
The Bruins had “turned back hockey’s royalty” and “sent their faithful” towards the exits. The line was absurd, but we still remember it today. It’s obvious Edwards was enjoying the moment as much as those watching at home — and perhaps even a little bit more. His deranged enthusiasm in the booth reflects the psyche of Bruins Nation.
This was apparent during the Bruins’ epic 2011 series against Montreal, which featured Edwards echoing the cries of fans from Boston to Bar Harbor when Habs defenseman Roman Hamrlik went down after a hit from Michael Ryder: “GET UP!”
(Earlier in the game, Edwards memorably ripped into Benoit Pouliot, calling the forward “one of the greatest disappointments in talent in National Hockey League history.”)
Edwards wrapped up the incredible seven-game series with a rant about Montreal royalty and the tea party, and closed with the ultimate rhetorical question: ‘Who has more fun than us?”
Nobody seems to have more fun than Edwards in the booth, and that’s why I’ve grown to cherish his absurdity. The man was literally shaking when Patrice Bergeron netted his series-winner against the Maple Leafs in 2013.
Six years later, when the Bruins beat Toronto for the third time in seven years, Edwards declared the Leafs “were mulch again!”
Recently, Edwards’ unbridled support for the B’s has gotten him into some trouble with very online hockey fans, who disapprove of his occasional advocation for on-ice retribution. In October 2019, Edwards came under fire for calling Roman Polak’s head injury “bad hockey karma.”
Refreshingly, Edwards stood by his real-time call, noting that Polak attempted to shove Bruins forward Chris Wagner before his head hit the board. Edwards does not condone unjust hockey violence. He once compared Matt Cooke to Robert Kennedy’s assassin for ending Marc Savard’s career.
All-time play-by-play announcers become part of a city’s folklore. My dad’s generation had Johnny Most and Curt Gowdy; we have Mike Gorman and Jack Edwards. A complete contrast in the booth, both broadcasters are synonymous with their teams. It’s impossible to think of the Bruins’ three most recent Stanley Cup runs without invoking one of Edwards’ calls.
And now, we can add this year’s playoff run to the list. Craig Smith will eventually be forgotten, but “Washington took a nap” will live forever.
Give me memories over forgettable professionalism any day.
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Bruins are set to own the early summer: There is much more interest in the Bruins than Celtics right now. Perhaps that could change if the Celtics push Brooklyn, but the B’s are seen as a Cup favorite, whereas the C’s are barely hanging on.
The numbers don’t lie: Saturday’s Game 1 between the Bruins and Capitals drew a 9.2 TV rating in Boston. Celtics-Wizards garnered a 5.4. Though a play-in game isn’t comparable to an actual playoff game, the Celtics were playing on Tuesday, giving them an advantage. As the world reopens, and people reemerge from their COVID slumbers to do crazy things like socialize with friends, it will be even harder to capture TV audiences. The Bruins are giving people a reason to watch.
Time for Marv Albert to go: The only thing that was audible during TNT’s muted Celtics-Wizards broadcast was Albert continually misidentifying Marcus Smart. Albert has enjoyed a legendary career (he’s inducted in five Hall of Fames), but at 80 years old, it’s time for him to retire.
Big-time sports announcing gigs shouldn’t be treated as for-life appointments. The history of sportscasting is littered with broadcasters who kept their jobs for way too long: Tim McCarver, Joe Morgan, Phil Simms. Finally, CBS replaced Simms with Tony Romo, and it’s elevated the “NFL on CBS” brand to exceptional heights. Romo is the highest-paid NFL analyst ever for a reason.
It’s tough to imagine how Albert will sound during the Eastern Conference Finals, TNT’s signature NBA telecast this season. Respect for a Hall of Fame career shouldn’t translate to unwarranted assignments.
Unscripted Brady? I’m ready to be obsessed: Tom Brady’s unscripted reality show with FOX will probably feature little in the way of candor and true spontaneity. But that’s actually part of what will make it interesting.
Brady has one of the most carefully manicured images out there. His whole existence is based around promoting the TB12 lifestyle, and bragging about 77-foot yachts.
So what is the goal of this unscripted Brady series? Just like “Tom vs. Time,” there must be more to it than the joy of creating content.
We’ll have to tune in to find out.