How often do mothers of teenagers feel like whatever they say to them goes in one ear and right out the other?
Well, sorry moms, but science has confirmed that that is exactly what’s happening.
The technical name is “A Neurodevelopmental Shift In Reward Circuitry From Mother’s To Nonfamilial Voices In Adolescence,” but what it really means is say you repeatedly tell your teen to bring down all of the dirty dishes from their room, they will only hear what their friend is saying to them on the phone.
But don’t worry, parents. Your teens aren’t doing this because they are rude.
According to Scary Mommy, it’s because their teenaged brains have evolved that way for specific reasons. While the brains of babies and kids have evolved to tune into the voices of their mothers and other caregivers, at around 13 years old, they shift to begin to listen to “novel voices.”
Daniel Abrams, lead study author and clinical associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences, said in a news release, “Just as an infant knows to tune into her mother’s voice, an adolescent knows to tune into novel voices. Our findings demonstrate that this process is rooted in neurobiological changes,” Menon said. “When teens appear to be rebelling by not listening to their parents, it is because they are wired to pay more attention to voices outside their home.”
If anything, this is just a sign of your child becoming independent.
Vinod Menon, a professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford, said, “A child becomes independent at some point, and that has to be precipitated by an underlying biological signal. That’s what we’ve uncovered: This is a signal that helps teens engage with the world and form connections which allow them to be socially adept outside their families.”
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