The Patriots’ recent run of mediocrity has provided us with an opportunity to sample the wide array of well-coiffed talking heads calling NFL games. And most of them absolutely stink.
Why?
It’s true that bashing announcers is a tried-and-true tradition among sports fans. But the verbal slop we’ve been subjected to every Sunday falls beyond the typical nitpicking about perceived homerism and hyperbolic commentary. These guys, despite playing and coaching in the league for years, don’t seem to know what they’re talking about.
Take last Sunday’s game, for example. James Lofton, who played 15 years in the NFL and spent six as a receivers coach, didn’t seem to grasp the concept of an interception. When Jets “create a player” quarterback Mike White sailed an errant throw into the outstretched arms of Patriots cornerback Kyle Dugger, Lofton insisted it wasn’t an INT — even though replay clearly showed Dugger kept his arms cradled under the ball the whole time.
“It’s not an interception,” he said affirmatively.
They do have replay access in the booth, right?
These kinds of errors happen time and time again. Analysts seem to either wrongly predict calls or cover for the officials. NBC’s Cris Collinsworth often falls into the latter category. As the founder of Pro Football Focus, Collinsworth is known for his incisive and detail-oriented analysis, except when it comes to dissecting holding calls. In those spots, Collinsworth usually offers some banality about how the egregious penalty could’ve gone either way, and then gets back to salivating over some coach or player.
Al Michaels and Collinsworth’s credibility took its first big hit during the Patriots’ incredible 2015 Divisional Round win over the Ravens. In the first quarter, the pair briefly discussed Robert Mueller’s report investigating Roger Goodell over his handling of the Ray Rice scandal. Though Goodell bungled the situation — the league claims it never saw video of Rice pummeling his fiancee in an elevator until it was publicly released — Mueller’s findings whitewashed the commissioner of wrongdoing. After Michaels awkwardly read a synopsis of Mueller’s findings, Collinsworth went in for kiss.
“I never once in all my dealings with the commissioner doubted his integrity. And I think that came out in the report as well,” he said.
NBC and other networks carry multibillion-dollar rights agreements with the NFL, and thus, their analysts aren’t objective observers. But the fawning doesn’t have to veer into slobbery. At times, it seems like Michaels and Collinsworth are running their own pro-NFL PR firm. Bill Belichick probably sent them a nice check after the full-throated defense they offered him before Seth Wickersham’s bombshell book was released.
But at least Michaels and Collinsworth were coherent, which puts them ahead of Tony Romo, who delivered a puzzling performance during Patriots-Cowboys two weeks ago. The ex-Cowboys QB was panting when replay showed Robert Kraft and Jerry Jones embracing before the game.
“They’re like, ‘Hey ... oh you’re here! Let’s go! Should we sit together? Yes. Get in there. Let the big guy get his hands on ya,’” he said.
Creepy.
The lauding of NFL owners on game broadcasts is off-putting. There is always that obligatory shot of the owners’ box, followed by 30 seconds of endless praise for “Mr. Kraft” or even someone terrible like “Mr. Snyder.”
It seems like a mandated exercise of hero worship. Vladimir Putin is taking notes.
National broadcasts are seldom going to satisfy diehard sports fans, because they have to appeal to wide swaths of the audience. Intrinsically, that means the analysis is going to be more surface level, and the jokes are going to be corny. Luckily, Jim Nantz and Michaels are the perfect country club kind of guys to deliver those back-slapping one-liners about friends, family and football.
Still, those barriers don’t mean the analysis has to be downright insulting. Romo was a media darling when he first came on the scene, because he displayed the incredible ability to stay on top of the action. He was also intimately familiar with many of the players and coaches, because he recently played.
That is one big aspect to the mediocrity of broadcasters that gets overlooked: few of them are familiar with today’s players. Look at the analysts who have called Patriots games. Trent Green retired in 2009; Mark Scherleth retired in 2001; Collinsworth retired in 1988; Lofton retired in 1993. At one point, your perspective starts to wane.
The brilliance of the ManningCast drives this point home. In addition to being an all-time great, Peyton Manning knows everything about the modern game, as does Eli Manning. It is a much better product than the traditional Monday night broadcast, which relies on the perfunctory analysis of Brian Griese.
It also doesn’t hurt that Manning is hysterical.
As the Patriots try to make their playoff push, we’ll hear more analysts get their crack at breaking down Mac Jones or Belichick’s latest defensive wrinkles. But don’t expect anything to be insightful.
Just hope it’s coherent.
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Romo-Gisele nothingburger: With all that said, the faux-controversy this week over Romo joking about the fan who gave up Brady's 600th touchdown ball going on a date with Gisele was ridiculous. Sure, it was a sophomoric line, but does anybody really think Romo meant any malice?
Performative outrage just gets more and more boring.
Joel Quenneville dodging the media is a disgrace: An independent investigation found that Panthers coach Joel Queneville knew about sexual assault allegations against former Blackhawks video coach Brad Aldrich, yet did nothing about it. The results of that inquiry were released Tuesday, and shamefully, Quenneville dodged the media following Florida’s game against the Bruins.
That’s disgraceful leadership. The Panthers’ GM said Quenneville couldn’t answer any questions before meeting with NHL commissioner Gary Bettman. But if that’s the case, why was he allowed to coach? Quenneville is the face of Florida’s organization. Talk about displaying no accountability.
On a related note, this is why it’s important to have post-game press conferences and traditional media availabilities. The independent press will hold Quenneville more accountable than the team’s website. That’s for sure.
Covid covered for Goodell: The NFL has handled Covid well. The league got through the season last year with minimal disruption and established powerful incentives for players to get vaccinated. As a leader, it’s been Roger Goodell’s shining moment.
But it’s blinded us from how he falls short everywhere else. At the NFL owners’ meetings Tuesday, Goodell looked life his old self: stiff, phony and hypocritical. He says the NFL isn’t releasing the findings of the WFT investigation to protect the survivors, while two of them crashed the meetings to demand the NFL do exactly that.