“There is no such thing as a product. Don’t ever think there is. There is only sex. Everything is sex. You understand that what I’m telling you is a universal truth,” Robert California once quipped on Season 7 of The Office. That may be true, though Olympic organizers are doing all they can to prevent the spread of COVID-19, which, according to David Meyer of the New York Post, includes having athletes in Tokyo sleep on “anti-sex” cardboard beds.
The Olympic Village, for much of its existence, has been portrayed as a prolific hookup site, a sweltering confluence of impossibly fit athletes brimming with sexual energy. But competitors in Tokyo will apparently have to resist their urges or risk damaging their flimsy cardboard beds, which, as insinuated by American distance runner Paul Chelimo in a tweet that has since gone viral, were designed for the purpose of discouraging intimacy between impassioned, red-blooded Olympians.
Asha Gilbert of USA Today was quick to dispel this narrative, however, noting that the 18,000 polyethylene beds in use at the Olympic Village can actually support up to 441 pounds, more than enough to support a roll in the proverbial hay between two world-class athletes. Looking to limit their carbon footprint amid our current environmental crisis, the mattresses, supplied by Japanese bedding company Airweave, are meant to be sustainable, purportedly “made almost entirely from renewable materials.” These arrangements were announced as far back as 2019, long before the world was turned upside down by COVID.
Gilbert notes that Olympic organizers plan to distribute 150,000 condoms to athletes as a “parting gift” for their cooperation in Tokyo. That would seem to be a drastic departure from the previous Summer Games in Rio, where condoms were readily available in vending machines throughout the Olympic village.
As demonstrated by Irish gymnast Rhys Mcclenaghan, the beds in Tokyo, despite their cardboard construction, can withstand plenty of force. But even if that weren’t the case, it’s doubtful that would be enough to curb sex in the Olympic Village as some of the more inventive athletes would undoubtedly still find ways to hook up.
LISTEN on the Audacy App
Sign Up and Follow Audacy Sports
Facebook | Twitter | Instagram