Two years after the death of her husband, Ric Ocasek, supermodel Paulina Porizkova opened up about her grieving process and how she related to a beloved television character who went through a similar experience.
Over the weekend, Porizkova took to Instagram to convey her commiseration with the Carrie Bradshaw character on the HBO Max show, “And Just Like That.”
SPOILER ALERT
Early on in the series – which just concluded its 10-episode run –Bradshaw arrived home to find her husband, Big, dead from an apparent heart attack. As Yahoo Entertainment noted, it was Porizkova who first discovered Ocasek dead in the New York City home they shared with their two sons.
Bradshaw dealt with her grief by talking with friends, believing that Big’s spirit was trying to communicate to her though an old lamp, and eventually trying to date again. But in her Instagram post, the scenes that Porizkova says she most identified with were the quieter ones where Bradshaw took to simply walking through the streets of Manhattan for hours.
Sharing a photo of a solitary Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw, resplendent in an orange dress but sad expression, Porizkova captioned, "What I found the most devastating was Carrie walking through NYC streets, mindlessly, trying to outwalk her pain. I did the same. Walked for hours in the woods behind our house in the cold.”
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Porizkova and Ocasek had a far longer relationship than the fictional Bradshaw and Big. They were married for 28 years, and were separated but still living together for a couple years by the time of his death in 2019.
Since then, Porizkova has been extremely open with her expressions of grief, getting as personal as revealing the fact that her rock star husband left nothing to her in his will.
But the emotions expressed in this latest post show the deep pain of a widow still dealing with her loss.
"My solitude allowed for privacy so I could walk and wail," she continued. "It’s like when your pet hurts and thinks it can outrun its pain. It just desperately dashes from place to place, hoping, believing, that the pain comes from the outside, and the right spot will make it stop.”
Porizkova has been following “And Just Like That” since it’s premiere. She shared a related post back in November that praised the show’s 56-year old lead.
“I’ve been seeing photos of Sarah Jessica Parker in the media, and every time I think ‘oh thank you thank you!’ Someone who is my age who looks like me. I see my lines and droops and silver roots mirrored, and I love it. Representation!”
“She makes me feel like I’m not a freak for aging,” the model continued, “because fashionable, beautiful, stylish her - is doing it too. And she looks amazing.”
Porizkova will appear on the upcoming CBS reality show, “Beyond the Edge,” where nine celebrities will compete against each other in dangerous, “Survivor”-like challenges to raise money for charity.
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