Fans of the Comedy Central series Key and Peele no doubt remember the iconic East/West Bowl sketch, introducing the starting lineups for a fictional college football All-Star game. Escalating throughout with progressively unusual and outlandish names including Penn State tight end Hingle McCringleberry and Missouri’s “The Player Formerly Known as Mousecop,” what makes the East/West Bowl such an effective satire is how close it is to the actual truth.
From Eastern Michigan’s Lion King Conaway to Alabama freshman Kool-Aid McKinstry, the college football recruiting landscape is rife with unique names, running the gamut from hilarious to downright bizarre. With that in mind, meet three-star receiver Decoldest Crawford, who announced Friday he’ll attend the University of Nebraska next fall.
Already a viral sensation for obvious reasons (his birth name is Decoldest Juan Crawford, for those wondering), the Shreveport, Louisiana native had previously committed to LSU, but changed course shortly after it was announced Brian Kelly would replace Ed Orgeron as head coach. Instead, Crawford is following wide receivers coach Mickey Joseph—brother of former Broncos coach and current Cardinals defensive coordinator Vance Joseph—to Lincoln. Before joining the Cornhuskers, Joseph had been an assistant on Orgeron’s staff. Scott Frost’s 53rd-ranked recruiting haul includes one four-star and 13 three-star prospects.
Listed at 6’1”/178, Crawford chose Nebraska over scholarship offers from Arizona, Arkansas, Kansas, Louisville, Memphis, Michigan State, Missouri, Ole Miss, Penn State, Southern Mississippi, USC and Washington State. With a name like that, Crawford should have his pick of the litter when it comes to branding and endorsement opportunities, all perfectly legal now that amateur athletes can profit off NILs.