Dear Matt,
In the last few years, I really cannot stand to be around my immediate family. Between politics, ideology and opinions about life, it’s exhausting since my parents literally ‘battle’ everything I say. My family doesn’t really feel like family to me, it feels like an obligation.
With COVID-19, I feel like this is a great excuse to not go to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving. But genuinely, even without COVID-19, I don’t want to go. What are your thoughts?
-Don’t Wanna Go
Dear Don’t Wanna Go,
Idealistically, (and without COVID-19), I hope most people can put away their differences and come together for what brings us together. But realistically, I understand there are millions of people out there that feel like you do for a wide variety of reasons.
I’ve always been a fan of cutting toxic branches. You are your own tree, and you can’t allow toxic branches to destroy the tree. You have to keep yourself healthy, which might involve minimal contact with your family.
COVID-19 is definitely a legitimate reason for anyone to skip out on gatherings this year (and those who are having gatherings should realize we are in a pandemic and plan accordingly). Using COVID-19 as an excuse for why you really want to skip Thanksgiving is okay.
But think ahead to next year…COVID-19 might be a problem, but it might not be. What are you going to say then? And maybe it’s worth a 1-on-1 discussion with the parent you’re closer to. Explain why you are having problems coming home and develop solutions.
At the end of the day, are you happier staying at home alone or with a loved one or with a friend or two? If you are…then choose that option. Life is short, so enjoy it while you can! But also remember that if you decide to talk to your parent(s) and how to bridge your gap with them.
Happy Holidays - Matt