Dear Matt,
I’m honestly dreading the holiday season this year. I’ve only recently tolerated my immediate family and my extended family is…well, let’s just say the way to describe them wouldn’t be appropriate for the website!
I feel as though I’m pressured to attend the holiday celebrations my whole family put on. I don’t really have any valid excuses, but is there a way for me to back out?
Thank you so much!
Not Home For The Holidays
Dear Not Home For The Holidays,
If you don’t want to go, then you don’t have to go. Full stop!
I think we’re finally realizing that we need to stop putting up with, defending, or simply coexisting with toxic behaviors. I’m not sure the extent of the issues, but it sounds like you’d be uncomfortable going. And frankly, in a post-pandemic world, who wants to sacrifice their rare moments of relaxation and bliss by jumping into chaos?
Feel free to make up an excuse. Maybe your cat isn’t feeling well? Or maybe work gave you some extra shifts or workload? And maybe there’s a way to properly celebrate with your immediate family if that’s something you’re interested in doing.
And for those saying, “but it’s family...,” family is NOT an excuse for bullying, rude, or boundary-crossing behavior. We need to call out the creepy uncles who make inappropriate comments to young female family members. We need to tell those questionable elders that that their racism won’t be tolerated. And we need to tell Cousin Lynn that no one is eating her mashed potatoes with raisins (okay, that last one was a joke but seriously make sure to have replacement food on standby for relatives who can’t cook).
I hope whatever you decide to do this holiday, I hope you have a lovely and keyword: “stressless” time.
-Matt
