Dear Matt,
Two months ago my friend “Lisa” invited me to her NYE party and I agreed to go. I like Lisa, but I knew this party would be pretty minimal and relaxing — think a party for introverts. I usually don’t have plans for NYE, so this seemed like a good way to get out and about.
However, my boyfriend of five months invited me to his friend’s party which turns out is actually at a bar. I’ll have to pay money for drinks, but it certainly would be fun and loud and I’d get to meet some more of my boyfriend’s friends.
I feel bad about bailing on Lisa, but I don’t know what to do?
-Patty P-Tween Parties.
Dear Patty,
I usually tend to go with the first option that I’ve confirmed in my schedule. It’s a fair way of approaching things: “sorry I can’t do X, I have already booked myself for Y.”
However, this is a tough situation. There’s no way to predict you’d have boyfriend plans for NYE. I get why you’d prioritize your boyfriend over a casual friend (unless Lisa is your bestie).
I think you need to find a compromise — can you attend Lisa’s party momentarily for pleasantries and a char-cootcherie board? And then go and party it up with your boyfriend at the bar? Or maybe if not, visit Lisa earlier in the day and volunteer to help out? Maybe even plan one-on-one plans like a lunch.
If you decide to skip Lisa’s party, I do think you should make this up for Lisa. It’s just a polite thing to do since you’re friends. Unless you’re looking to stop being friends with Lisa. Then that’s a different advice article!
-
Matt
