Dear Matt,
I work part time as a server on the weekends. It’s fun — gets me out of the house and it’s casual work. I get tipped out in cash and usually have a lot of money in my purse.
The last few weeks, I’ve noticed that some of my cash has gone missing. For example, when getting groceries I was confident I’d have enough money to pay the bill. But I was actually short some money.
I don’t have any proof, but the only person who would have had the access was my husband. What should I do?
-Purse Theft Penny
Dear Purse Theft Penny,
I think you should ask him if he’s been taking money from your purse directly. If you really believe there’s no other person who would have had access (and if you’re quite confident you didn’t lose or miscount the money), then you’re right about your husband’s possible involvement.
In his eyes, he might not see it exactly as stealing. If you’ve had a long marriage and relationship, there’s the tendency for things to go “what is mine is yours.” With any relationship or friendship that is long-standing, sloppy communication can become more common.
So be direct, and don’t try and showcase emotions till after you confirm that he took it. I’m sure you’re curious why he took the money and maybe there was a good reason (do cash only establishments still exist?). If he denies the allegation, hit the drawing board again.
And if you’re worried that he’s lying…well, then that’s a whole can of worms right there! Maybe think about putting your money somewhere else then just in your purse.
Matt Hribar holds a B.A. in Communications and Sociology/Criminology and has been reading advice columns all his life. He's been giving out advice through opinion articles since 2012.