The Warriors held their championship parade Monday in San Francisco, celebrating the team’s fourth title in eight years. Monday’s well-deserved victory lap through the Sourdough City didn’t disappoint with drunken shenanigans galore, most of them courtesy of Klay Thompson, who, it would seem, hasn’t had a sip of water since the Warriors’ locker-room celebration in Boston four days ago. Thompson may not have shot the ball well against Boston (36.9 field-goal percentage), but that hasn’t stopped the 32-year-old from tasting the fruits and letting the juices drip down his chin like George Costanza after getting a handsome severance package from the Yankees. Welcome one, welcome all, to the Summer of Klay.
If you’re wondering why Thompson showed up in a captain’s hat instead of the standard-issue championship caps distributed Thursday night, it’s because he lost it on his morning boat ride.
That set the tone for a chaotic day with plenty more mishaps to come. Oh, nothing to see here. Just Thompson dropping one of his three championship rings (he’ll have a fourth soon enough), losing the treasured keepsake in a sea of confetti.
Running on fumes from a weekend of hard partying (he apologized for yawning during an interview on 95.7 The Game), Thompson must have caught a second wind, barreling into an unsuspecting fan along the parade route. Fortunately, no one got hurt.
Thompson was a hot mess, but at least he didn’t hurl the Lombardi Trophy off a boat like Tom Brady did at last year’s Super Bowl parade in Tampa, or swing it like a baseball bat a la Rob Gronkowski (never forget Matthew Stafford watching a photographer break her neck after taking a brutal spill at the Rams' parade in February). It’s been a long road back for Thompson, who made his triumphant return in January after missing nearly three seasons due to injury. Despite losing a step defensively, the Splash Brother was still a valuable contributor throughout the Warriors’ postseason run, averaging 19 points per game while shooting a respectable 38.5 percent from three-point range.
Thompson may have been the life of the party, but others were just as boisterous, including Draymond Green, who will probably be hearing from the FCC after dropping multiple F-bombs on live television.
The Warriors’ parade should have been sponsored by Excedrin for the headache players and probably a good portion of the fan base will have tomorrow morning. But as Steph Curry expressed in his post-game interview with Lisa Salters, “you never know when you’ll be back here,” making Monday’s festivities well worth the hangover.