The Kentucky Derby is this weekend, marking the beginning of Triple Crown season in horse racing and most people’s understanding and interest in the sport.
It’s a huge niche for many, but there are also many that just couldn’t care less about the Derby – including our own Danny Rouhier, who lamented how three horses have died and a trainer has been suspended this spring because of it before calling the event, and the sport itself, “stupid” in an epic monologue.
“Stop doing this. The Kentucky Derby is stupid, horse racing is stupid, stop all of it. That’s my hot take,” Danny said. “Here’s what happens: we get around this time every year, and you never remember when it is because you don’t care, and you read one article about it. People want to gamble, drink, and wear fancy hats. That’s not a sporting event, that’s just stupid.”
But wait…there’s more!
“If there were no riders on the horses and they just ran like dogs do, that’s more intriguing to me,” Danny continued. “But you have this scummy underworld where trainers are plying these things with drugs and guys are getting suspended and expelled…it’s so dumb. I cannot stand these stupid races. It’s like wine: you think you’re supposed to like it, so you over-talk about it in hopes that nobody follows up and asks you about it. I cannot stand the whole thing. All we’re trying to do is hope one horse does what another one did 50 years ago…and then what? It’s so unbelievably dumb. Get rid of all of it. If I had the power of Thanos, that’s what I’d use the Infinity Gauntlet for: get rid of horse racing.”
Can’t even make the “tell us how you really feel, Danny!” joke, because that’s hard to top. Grant Paulsen didn’t even try to participate in the segment, letting Danny and producer Darris Dameron go off on a Thanos-related tangent after the monologue.
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So, on that note, Danny wants to know: what is the one sporting event that “everyone is all geeked up for” that you just can’t stand?
Danny added The Masters, Darris said “any of the over-hyped boxing matches,” and Ryan Clary said "NASCAR, although I hesitate because that's not even a sport." What say you, intrepid 106.7 The Fan listener?
Follow Grant & Danny on Twitter: @granthpaulsen & @funnydanny
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