A long time ago, FOX used a funny graphic to describe Ron Rivera; in pointing out the then-Panthers head coach’s nickname of “Riverboat Ron” for his play-calling proclivities, FOX used a graphic that said he preferred “Analytical Ron.”
Good, because after not going for two at the end of regulation Sunday, Grant Paulsen has kicked the skipper off his riverboat.
“I don’t do the moral victory thing, because context matters; I’m a grown-up and I can be a critical thinker, and you can win games you should lose or vice versa,” Grant said in setting up his disdain for the call.
That was a thought about the D, which wasn’t great either, before Grant had to talk about the elephant – or motorized watercraft, if you will – in the room.
“I believe that was unforgiveable,” Grant said. “I understand there’s an argument here, and I won’t scream that anyone who says you have to kick the PAT and say they’re wrong, but my main takeaway is this: you don’t get to go by Riverboat anymore. Turn in your nickname NOW. You don’t get to hand out hats and t-shirts that say ‘Riverboat Ron’ doing things that way, full stop. Period.”
“That’s the key,” was all Danny could say, as Grant explained that the narrative that Ron is a gambler isn’t necessarily correct – ‘he correctly occasionally rolls the dice, but he’s not one of the more aggressive coaches in the league, based off this decision’ was his line.
But yeah, sorry, Ron, turn in your paddlewheel to the Audacy studios for Commissioner Paulsen.
“The whole Riverboat Ron bit? Not anymore, it’s over. Whatever shirts and hats are out there, it’s time to retire those as far as I’m concerned,” Grant said.
As for why he, Coach Grant Paulsen who’d definitely wear a polo shirt with a block W Commanders logo well after he took over even in Madden, would have gone for two?
“The reason yesterday was such an easy decision was a few fold – number one, you are on the road against a superior team, so I don’t need any more context,” Grant said. “When I’m playing a superior team on the road, it’s a no-brainer and the game needs to be as short as possible.”
Grant referenced Rivera doing just that against the Giants at MetLife in 2021, which was not to be repeated this time – and Ron even said he told the team ‘I play to win’ after that decision.
So, about yesterday Grant?
“You need 72 inches, six feet, two yards,” he said. “If you believe there’s a worse chance to go two yards at the end of a game than to win a coin toss, 50/50, then go 75 yards and score or go 50 yards and get a field goal and then a stop? You believe that all happening is easier than 7 inches? You and I don’t see football eye-to-eye, period.”
Oh, and on that shorter game tip…
“I hated his answer that his team was tired – that was maybe worse than the decision. It’s not like it was some marathon drive, and don’t you think the defense was maybe tired too, coach?” Grant asked. “They they play again on Thursday, and you elected to play overtime football? You play again 96 hours later and you elected to play more snaps, potentially 10 more minutes of football? We’ve had players and coaches tell us how long you feel that, and with a Thursday game looming, you can make the case that even if you lose, you’re better off not asking your team to go out there and play 10 more minutes of football in a game that was chalked up as an L in the first place! I am stunned that he did this.”
It’s very rare that Daniel K. Rouhier, professional talker, fails to get a word in edgewise on Grant, but that’s what happened here – he doesn’t feel as strongly, but you can take a listen to it all, starting about 10 minutes into the clip above!
