The Thanksgiving afternoon game between the New York Giants and Dallas Cowboys is an afront to God, America, and the sport of football, so why not take advantage of the that time to digest some turkey in front of a fine football film, instead? Here are the 10 greatest football movies from modern Hollywood:
10. The Waterboy (1998, 33% on Rotten Tomatoes)
Rotten Tomatoes is the devil! Adam Sandler’s bayou-based movie is incredibly stupid, but a silly romp that’s surprisingly good-natured upon a re-watch. There are certainly some very offensive elements in the dialogue; this is a 90’s comedy. But Kathy Bates and Henry Winkler have so much fun with their parts, it’s hard not to feel it.
9. The Replacements (2000, 41% on Rotten Tomatoes)
I remember seeing this movie in theaters with one of my best friends and his dad because we were all massive Washington football fans and the plot very loosely references the team’s success during the 1987 NFL lockout. It didn’t live up to our standards at the time, but it’s become the soft rock version of a sports movie. It’s mostly inoffensive, easy to watch, and plays the hits. It’s chock-full of clichés and it always takes me out of the movie when you don’t get league likeness rights. I still enjoy the kicker ripping a dart on the field. And chicks do dig scars.
8. Silver Linings Playbook (2012, 92% on Rotten Tomatoes)
Hooooo-boy, I am ready to fight for this choice. Yes, this movie is romantic comedy focused just as much on ballroom dancing as Eagles football, but I’ve still never seen a richer and more accurate portrayal of east coast NFL fans. From Robert De Niro’s portrayal of a degenerate and superstitious gambler to Bradley Cooper’s own therapist stating, “DeSean Jackson is the man,” “Silver Linings” is a pitch-perfect ode to fandom.
7. We Are Marshall (2006, 49% on Rotten Tomatoes)
I will never re-watch this movie. I saw this one in theaters with high school friends who mocked how I quietly sobbed from its beginning to its end and yes, we are all still friends and they are monsters. But I do enjoy Matthew McConaughey as real-life head coach Jack Lengyel. McConaughey has perfect southern college football coach energy, which makes his dedication to Texas Longhorns football charming rather than annoying. The actual football scenes are passable.
6. Jerry Maguire (1996, 85% on Rotten Tomatoes)
Do not fight me on this. “Jerry Maguire” is my favorite movie. Yes, it’s a romantic comedy, and Tom Cruise hardly ages well given all the scientology around him. The football side of this movie rocks. Cuba Gooding Jr.’s portrayal of Rod Tidwell could have come off as a shallow caricature. Instead, he shows the humor and emotional depth we all hope the guys in the locker room harbor. Spoiler alert: Tidwell’s endzone dance was reason enough to eliminate celebration penalties in the real NFL. There’s also an extremely authentic feel to everything league-centric in this movie – except negotiating a contract in season. “Jerry Maguire,” you complete this list.
5. Any Given Sunday (1999, 52% on Rotten Tomatoes)
Even if you’ve never seen the whole move in its entirety, you can recite at least one line from Al Pacino’s “inches” speech. That scene alone lands this movie squarely in the middle of this list. It’s a very flawed film, and the fast-cut style of editing borders on nauseating. Also, once again, the league rights make such a difference in movies about professional football. However, this movie was ahead of its time on many of the issues still plaguing the NFL: dismissal of serious injuries, the treatment of black quarterbacks, and substance abuse problems. Definitely not family friendly.
4. Remember the Titans (2000, 71% on Rotten Tomatoes)
Denzel Washington elevates every thing he’s in, and he improves “Titans” from a corny Mickey Mouse production to an emotional and funny period piece. High school football scenes are easier to pull off than college or professional games, and the football scenes here are helped by actor Kip Pardue’s real life experience as a college football player. Hayden Panettiere’s character could not be more annoying, but it’s family-friendly pick. Plus, the soundtrack is fantastic.
3. The Longest Yard (1974, 76% on Rotten Tomatoes)
Like “Titans,” this classic is helped out a lot by Burt Reynolds’ real life experience as a Florida State University football player. There are about six or seven other real former football players in the movie, making the scenes the best you’ll get outside of the real thing. “The Longest Yard” is a little more dated that you’d like to admit, but the football holds up terrifically outside of the guards literally trying to maim the inmates on the other team. Sandler got his one football movie on this list, his later reboot did not work at all in comparison with this movie. Again, not one for families.
2. Rudy (1993, 78% on Rotten Tomatoes)
“Rudy” must be the most divisive sports movie of our time. My take: if you hate “Rudy,” your heart died a long time ago, or you really despise the one person you know from Notre Dame. There’s a lot of, “what am I watching” during the first half of this movie, but the Irish football scenes are undeniably cool. When Rudy finally gets to practice, the pairing of the musical score to the drills montage makes you remember why you love watching sports movies. Yes, there are corny elements to this movie. Yes, the true story is not nearly as moving as the film. It’s a movie, guys.
1. Friday Night Lights (2004, 82% on Rotten Tomatoes)
The television show by the same name is more beloved than the Billy Bob Thornton movie, but this film is an acutely realistic portrayal of the fishbowl environment around a successful high school football program – warts and all. It hardly has the rah-rah nature of, say, “The Replacements,” but it’s much more emotionally moving. “Friday Night Lights” has no fuzzy, warm Taylor family in its movie, because they weren’t there in real life. It’s not the easiest watch, but it’s the best one.