There is a lot up for debate these days when it comes to Tom Brady and his NFL future. And while any uncertainty surrounding the GOAT is a cause for concern in Pats Nation, one thing not up for debate is why we would take a break from BradyWatch 2020 to celebrate and enjoy the last game of the season. Because, football, right?
Maybe, but then again this is New England, where we don't celebrate the happiness or success of others. We can barely acknowledge our own joy. Here in Entitled Town we're spoiled. We're used to seeing our team in "The Big Game". We've got a Duckboat addiction which, after Super Bowl LIV is complete, will not have been sated for over a year. Hence the extra attitude from whoever serves you at your favorite coffee shop, grocery store or alehouse this weekend. Because when you talk Super Bowl in New England this century it usually involves discussing the Pats chances, sizing up their opponent, and also how mad you think your boss will be when you come to work Monday hungover, only to then call in sick Tuesday to go to the parade.
The team has played in over 20 percent of all Super Bowls, and statistically, Brady himself has been the starting QB in one out of every six. Those numbers, to quote noted poet laureate Gwen Stefani, are B-A-N, B-A-N-A-N-A-S, Bananas. Were the Commonwealth to devolve into a real-life version of "Grand Theft Auto" by Tuesday it would be completely understandable.
So how's about we take our mind off what we don't have and instead celebrate all the great times we've had with Tom Brady and the Super Bowl? Better this than stress-drinking while overanalyzing the matchup, seeking out opinions across the far corners of the internet to validate ours, or staying up full of anxiety for seventy hours straight prior to kickoff, right? Yes, today's exercise will be a perfect distraction from seeing Brady's almost heir taking on Brady's latest rival for the VLT. Plus, this will keep your mind from wandering into "Where is Brady playing next season and who will it be for?" territory. Don't go there yet. Stay with me. OK, you ready? Here we go: Today, we're going to rank Tom Brady's Super Bowl performances.
Yes, it's that simple. And I realize I could have just opened this by saying "Tom Brady has been to a bunch of Super Bowls and won most of them, let's rank his performances". But the previous paragraphs kept you from thinking about Garoppolo, Mahomes or BradyWatch 2020 for a few minutes, right? You're welcome. Here we go. Nine Super Bowls, six of them wins, ranked nine to one. The Top 5 getting the pro treatment because that's how these things work.
9.) Super Bowl 42
You know why. Did he take a beating in this game? Yes. Did he still put the team ahead with less than three minutes left? You bet. Was this just likely punishment from the Football Gods for hubris on or off the field, or a chance to prove life has a cruel sense of humor ultimately with no meaning? Boy howdy! Whatever. These aren't the explanations or highlights you're looking for. Move along.
8.) Super Bowl 46
Any championship game where you lose to Peyton's younger brother, again, open the game throwing a 50-yard intentional grounding and get picked off by Chase Blackburn? Yeah, this game sucks. Even if you had an eight-point lead midway through the third and at one point were 16-for-16 passing, too many opportunities were missed (today's not the day we solve the "Did Welker drop it, or ..." issue). This game is an exercise in what should've been, and unfortunately wasn't.
7.) Super Bowl 53
The sixth and arguably most surprising championship of Brady's career. No, not the game itself. In fact, it was easily the most boring or least dynamic of his nine Super Bowl appearances ("of his nine Super Bowl appearances" ... so spoiled). It was surprising because of how the team was playing in early December. And then because they had to win the AFC Championship on the road in KC. Confidence ran high in this game. Brady played kinda meh for most of the game. Until it mattered in the fourth. And then Hoss-Y Juke. The throw to Gronk. And a sixth championship, where his go-to target, Julian Edelman, won MVP.
6.) Super Bowl 39
The game that ultimately crowned the Brady/Belichick Patriots a dynasty with a third win in four seasons, it was a perfectly fine effort from Brady on the biggest stage (23-of-33, 236, 2 TDs, INT, 1 FL). One that saw his favorite target at that time, Deion Branch, take home MVP honors. Brady played well enough to win, and did, but the argument can be made that the offense stalled late, and a trifecta of his defense being clutch, Andy Reid butchering the clock and Donovan McNabb puking in the huddle were every bit as helpful. Hey, a trophy and a parade are still a trophy and a parade, right?
OK, and now for the ones that merit highlights, too ...
5.) Super Bowl 38
Following a season that was a total letdown and championship hangover (Thanks, Tara Reid!), a wild ride and climatic triumph in Super Bowl 38 meant the Patriots and Tom Brady were no fluke and here to stay. And while 30 minutes of this game were a complete snooze (all the scoring was done in the second and fourth quarters), there was so much to remember from this game that didn't involve half of Janet Jackson's exposed breast. Like Adam Vinatieri winning another playoff game with a late clutch kick! Kasay's kick out of bounds to set up the game-winning drive! Defensive End Mike Vrabel (ever heard of that guy?) vulturing a goal-line touchdown pass from Christian Fauria! Rodney Harrison and his broken arm in a tearful postgame triumph! And it was all lead by Tom Brady, who graduated from game manager in Super Bowl 36 to flat-out gunslinger in Super Bowl 38. Carolina had a ferocious defensive line, and OC Charlie Weis's plan to move Brady around and roll him away from pressures worked perfectly, with Brady hitting budding star Deion Branch and old reliable Troy Brown when it mattered most. When you get a chance this game bears rewatching. Or if you have six minutes the highlight package here is pretty awesome, too.
4.) Super Bowl 36
You never forget your first time. Especially when nobody expected you to be there, you have a second-year, sixth-round draft pick at QB on a bad ankle, and you're playing against the greatest offense in football. But that's exactly how legends are made. And while Brady only threw one touchdown, a peach late in the first half to David Patten (same route Bledsoe hit him on in the AFC title game a week earlier in Pittsburgh), it was the calm, cool and clutch he displayed on the final drive, after St. Louis had staged a furious 4th Q comeback, that cemented both the win and his place at the table in the NFL and New England sports history. Every Troy Brown cross, dump off to JR Redmond or five-yarder to Wiggy was a thing of beauty to set up the greatest kick in Super Bowl history. "Run out the clock and play for overtime" my ass, John Madden! This is Tom F**kin' Brady we're talking about here.
3.) Super Bowl 52
Anyone asking how I could include a loss in the Top 5 only need remember back two years when Brady posted one of the most unthinkable stats in history, becoming the only QB to ever throw for five hundreds or more in a game - not just a Super Bowl, a game - and LOSE. This was a night of the unthinkable from before kickoff, when word leaked out Malcolm Butler was getting benched, the reason for which remaining a mystery we will learn the answer to right after we watch Geraldo Rivera and Jimmy Hoffa drink from the Holy Grail in Al Capone's vault. The Pats defense didn't show up or at least did but left receivers open and flailed on open-field tackles like they practiced for it. Tom Brady and his offense, however, showed up ready to rumble. Especially Hogan, who mitigated the loss of Edelman, and Gronk, who went for nine catches, 116 yards and two TDs. They were flat-out unstoppable in the second half when they didn't punt! I'm starting to get a little worked up here. Again they had the lead in the 4th quarter when it mattered most. And were going to score that game-wining TD if it weren't for the Brandon Graham strip/Shaq Mason miscue/Brady fumble. Call it what you will, it never should have come down to that. It's a shame this game will be forever remembered for a gimmick play and not the greatest performance by a QB in the Super Bowl.
2.) Super Bowl 49
The greatest QB, looking for his first championship in a decade. Mired in a fresh, if not ultimately baseless, scandal. His reputation and legacy at stake. Against the best defense in football. The defending champs, looking to establish a legacy, a dynasty of their own. Something had to give. Brady was up and down for the first three quarters of this epic contest. Had the now prerequisite head-scratcher first half INT. Also threw a gorgeous fade pass TD to Gronk. The game was back and forth until Seattle seemingly seized control early in the fourth following. a Bobby Wagner INT of Brady and Doug Baldwin's TD to make it 24-14. At that point, no team had ever come from behind from a larger deficit than seven points in the 4th quarter of a Super Bowl to win. That is until Tom Brady caught fire, going 13 for 15 for 124 yards and two touchdowns in the 4th, giving his team a late lead that only the craziest and most amazing play in NFL history could cement (sorry, NFL 100 ranking, but the Butler INT is the greatest play ever and I'll hear nothing otherwise, weep). Brady finished with the most completions for a QB in the Super Bowl, passing his way to victory against the Legion of Boom, restarting the Pats dynasty while snuffing out the Seahawks. It was a game and performance for the ages that seemingly could never be topped, until...
1.) Super Bowl 51
For roughly a quarter and a half, plus overtime, to count as the greatest Super Bowl performance of Tom Brady's career, as well as the greatest postseason performance by any quarterback, it must have been pretty damn special. And it was. Now sure, you also helped get your team in a 21-0 first-half hole and down 28-3 late in the third. But still, it's the greatest comeback in sports history, on the greatest stage, by the greatest to ever play. Makes sense. Even though it doesn't. At all. Seriously, the new CATS movie makes more sense. You could run the 28-3 scenario through countless algorithms. Dr. Strange and any IBM created super-computers and all they would generate "GTFO" as an outcome with the Pats winning. And for all the unlikely events that needed to take place to fall perfectly in line over those final twenty-plus minutes, there had to be a GOAT to lead the team, make the throws and never give his fans doubt that he'd lead the comeback of the century. And that's just what he did in the game that gold-dipped his GOAT statue forever. For the final regulation drive 3rd down toss to Hogan, or the OT throws to Dola, Hogan and Edelman alone. Go ahead, take a few and rewatch the highlight reel above. Or your DVDs. Or any SB 51 reaction reel you can find on YouTube. You won't regret a second of it. Unless your name is Kyle Shanahan. Then you should be focused on winning this weekend.
See? Feel better? Even just a little bit on a Pats-free Super Bowl weekend? Yeah, a little Tom Brady will do that to you.
