Tom Brady’s fake retirement seemed phony from the first premature news report. The greatest football player of all-time built his entire name around dominating on the gridiron for as long as he could. Then he suddenly decides to walk away after leading the NFL in passing yards and touchdowns?
If you believed that, I have a $160 foam roller to sell you.
Brady announced Sunday he’s returning for his 23rd season less than two months after saying he was no longer going to make the “competitive commitment” to keep playing. Notably, Brady’s fraudulent Instagram post never contained the magic word. Instead, he prattled on in euphemisms, stressing that he was taking the time to focus his precious energy on other endeavors.
Six days later, Brady told Jim Gray he was going to “take things as they come,” and didn’t know how he would feel “six months” down the line.
As it turns out, he could’ve shortened his timetable to five weeks.
“These past two months I’ve realized my place is still on the field and not in the stands,” Brady posted on social media Sunday. “That time will come. But it’s not now. I love my teammates, and I love my supportive family. They make it all possible. I’m coming back for my 23rd season in Tampa. Unfinished business LFG.”
The shoddy handling of Brady’s retirement announcement was always fishy. The ultimate perfectionist somehow allowed the news to leak, leading to an embarrassing three days of retractions and gaslighting. Then he immediately started laying hints for his comeback.
Even Brett Favre had the courtesy to wait a few months.
It’s apparent Brady's faux-tirement was a reactionary decision. He signed a two-year extension with the Buccaneers last March, and there were no murmurs about his pending retirement during the season. That is, until ESPN’s Seth Wickersham — one of the consummate Brady insiders — predicted he would retire at the end of Tampa Bay’s playoff run.
Brady temporarily called it quits after leading the Bucs back from a 27-3 deficit against the Rams in the Divisional Round, only to see his team forget to cover Cooper Kupp during Los Angeles’ final drive of regulation.
Maybe this was Brady’s way of scaring Bruce Arians into competence.
The drumbeat about Brady coming back never quieted. There was speculation he wanted to play for his hometown 49ers, or move into some sort of weird minority owner/quarterback position with the Dolphins. Last week, NFL Media’s Ian Rapoport reported Brady constantly walks around with a jug of water to ensure he’s fully hydrated.
It was a serious hint that Brady wasn’t serious about hanging it up. Adherents to the TB12 Method know Brady drinks two gallons of water per day to stay in peak physical condition.
NFL insiders and fans alike spent five weeks theorizing about Brady’s ultimate plan. But as it turns out, impulse was the seeming driving force behind all of this drama. Brady is returning to the Buccaneers to play out the duration of his contract. There’s no power play here. Brady just wants to play.
He made it so obvious.
