Thinking out loud…while wondering if there's a better motto, courtesy of the late Norm MacDonald: "Note to self, no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer."
• You know what? By Week 17, Week 1 of the NFL season is usually forgotten.
• That's my Number One takeaway from the Patriots' missed opportunity against the Dolphins last Sunday at Gillette.
• The Number Two takeaway? New England was two points away (or a fumble) from a radically different outlook to the rest of this season. So, I won't get bent out of shape over a week.
• Unless this week begats another just like it.
• So, what should we remember about 2021's debut? Mac Jones, for all his apparent heroics, was officially hit nine times. The 10th time was rubbed out due to a penalty. But he still felt it, I'll wager.
• We'll undoubtedly remember the mistakes, mistakes, mistakes. Fumbles, penalties, needless hits endured. And the two Miami drives to open each half…when the Patriots' defense looked almost as perplexed as Blue looking for Clues.
• If you're a parent of a certain vintage, you'll get that last one.
• It sez here that yeah, maybe the Patriots have found their quarterback for the future. It also sez here unless his teammates start paying attention to the little things (like the mistakes) someday soon, that Week One hiccup might be tough to stop.
• And then, there are the J-E-T-S. Ok, stop laughing.
• By the very nature of the way the Patriots will try to play the game, with ball control and defense, it should be close Sunday.
• You want a real tailspin to start the season? Lose to the J-E-T-S. Ought to do the trick.
• Speaking of Jets, did you hear that the Patriots' flyover unnerved some MetroWest residents looking up in the sky to see military planes flying low over their heads?
• C'mon, man. How dense does one have to be, to NOT know the Patriots were playing their home opener in Foxboro last weekend? Flyovers are a salute to the military. Flyovers show respect. Flyovers are never not cool.
• ICYWW…the Pats were one of three NFL teams to report 100% capacity attendance last weekend. Some masks were in attendance as well.
• Two opening week NFL QB notes: A best-ever QB rating for Matt Stafford, making his debut in LA. And Jameis Winston threw 5 TD passes for New Orleans, without a pick. Whoa, on both accounts.
• Does Larry Fitzgerald have any gas left in his tank? Seems to me a veteran presence like his might be a cutting influence on young "Mac the Knife" in New England. He might also still have a few catches left in his repertoire.
• It's totally off the radar, but the Massachusetts Pirates won the IFL Championship (Indoor Football League) United Bowl last week, beating the Arizona Wranglers.
• Go Woo-stah! Wait, wut? You didn't know Worcester had an indoor football team? The Pirates and Green Bay Blizzard (yup) are the only IFL teams, out of 11 total, east of the Mississippi River.
• Well, that was fast. Boston College QB Phil Jurkovec's hand injury probably has him out for the rest of the year…that just got started.
• Fortunately for the Eagles, Dennis Grosel has experience in this sort of changeover, having replaced an injured Anthony Brown two years ago, and subbing for Jurkovec in a pinch last season.
• In other words, he's in a good position for a former walk-on – even if he isn't good enough to beat out an incumbent.
• After a 665-day time-out, Brown gets back on the gridiron in the annual URI-Brown Governors' Cup game at Brown Stadium Saturday. Rhody brings in top 25-caliber cred (and votes) after a 2-0 start to their season…and looking for their first 3-0 start in 16 years.
• It's the 105th meeting between the two schools on a football field, and the 39th time (since 1981) the Bears and Rams will play for that Cup. Since '81, the series is 19-19…with URI winning three of the past four.
• The Bears' first game in nearly two years will feature plenty of question marks, centered around an all-Ivy and all-American QB candidate in E.J. Perry, nephew of head coach James Perry. The one-time BC recruit (could he be re-thinking that one?) threw for nearly 300 yards per game in 2019.
• After a 17-6 win over Sacred Heart last weekend, Bryant gets the chance to step up a notch this weekend...with the Bulldogs' first-ever game against a Bowl Subdivision team. They'll play at 0-2 Akron (from the Mid-American Conference) Saturday afternoon.
• They ain't called the Zips for nuthin'. Akron was ranked 2nd in ESPN's infamous "Bottom 10" poll this week…right behind UConn. Look at it this way – it's an opportunity for both sides, amiright?
• Speaking of UConn…well, UCan't. Not much good, anyway. Their 49-0 loss to Purdue last weekend was their most lopsided shutout loss in 90 years.
• Yeah, they've apparently been playing for that long.
• Holy Cross must have been basking in the afterglow of their conquering UConn two weeks ago…after achieving an FCS Top 25 ranking, Merrimack proceeded to skewer the Crusaders 35-21 for the biggest win in the Warriors' program history…a week after one of HC's biggest wins.
• Why does it seem like every upset (that shouldn't happen, it's why it's an upset) becomes "the biggest win in program history" for the winning team?
• Can't we just be honest and say those losers, wow, they really must stink?
• Big East basketball media day is looming, coming up Oct.19th in New York. I got Nova, Xavier, UConn and throw everyone else in the pile…with anywhere from five to seven possible NCAA teams. You?
• Fox Big East hoop announcer Lisa Byington made some history this week, becoming the first woman to get the lead TV play-by-play position for an NBA team…with defending champ Milwaukee.
• AAC replacements for Cincinnati, Houston and UCF appear to be targeting App State and Louisiana from the Sun Belt. Additionally, CBS Sports reported this week Boise State, San Diego State, Air Force and Colorado State from the Mountain West and UAB from Conference USA are getting a long look.
• Wanna sleeper candidate? UTSA, in the football hotbed of San Antonio and South Texas, also from CUSA. And they've only played the sport since 2011.
• James Madison of the CAA is also looking to make the potential leap from the FCS to FBS. Looks like there will be a spot for them, somewhere.
• And it's way off…but why shouldn't URI consider this kind of leap forward in its' future? If you want to be big, you've got to think big before you act big.
• Trouble is, Rhody needs to learn how to be big at the FCS level first, before biting at the ankles of bowl-bound programs. The AAC is also trending toward more of a southern/western tier look as well.
• Besides, how much better of a basketball league is The American over the Atlantic-10? One or two more at-large-worthy NCAA spots? The key here – is TV.
• Can a school making the move bring a rabid, dedicated fan base to a media contract that will buy future games on streaming channels? If so, there's probably a spot for you…somewhere.
• Did you catch (pardon the pun) the video of the cat surviving its' fall at Miami's Hard Rock Stadium last week? From the crowd reaction, the rescue mission – hanging by its' claws from the upper deck and being caught below by fans holding an American flag – was more interesting than the Canes' slogging to a two-point win over App State.
• Two weeks after kickoff, and a 1-1 record, Southern Cal fired head coach Clay Helton. Say whatever you like about the timing…but at least USC knows what it wants. It ain't mediocrity, and it ain't Pete Carroll again.
• Would Urban Meyer be interested? He shot them down, but rumors persist his heart (and his health?) isn't into it in Jacksonville.
• When is winning still losing? When Arkansas beat Texas last Saturday, the Razorbacks' athletic department was fined $100K by the SEC for fans and students rushing the field after the game. Kill-joy athletic administrators.
• But you know what gets said about postgame celebrations – act like you've been there, done that, seen that. Trouble is, not too many have these days, apparently…
• My buddy "Big E" sez he asked Mrs. E what she wanted for her birthday. "Nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace," was her response.
• So, he bought her nothing.
• As I've said, watch out for the (not so much) Blow Jays. Lil' Vladdy's big knock this week surpassed the top single-season HR total his Dad once hit…from @Stathead, "Players age 22 or younger with at least 45 HR and 75 walks in a season: Vladimir Guerrero, Jr. (2021), Eddie Matthews (1953)."
• The Red Sox' Kyle Schwarber committed an error in Seattle to lose a game and got a big hit in Seattle to win another game this week. That's a nice comeback, but it seems like a wash to me.
• Speaking of washing…why did the Sox' battle with covid – which isn't quite over yet – have to be this way? Anyone else a little grossed out by this lingering, fog-like malaise hanging over that dugout?
• I mean, I'm all for rubbing a little dirt on my baseball boo-boos and getting back up, but this has gone on far too long.
• Four words: Didn't. Get. The. Shot. Perhaps if the Sox holdouts had done so, this team would be AHEAD in the battle for one of those wild card spots right now. Just sayin'.
• I know, I know. Big picture. They've still (greatly) overachieved. We expect too much, methinks. Call it the "reverse curse" of 2004.
• And a word about Rafael Devers – bravo. He's hit 30 HR's and 100 RBI's for the second time in three years, the 13th player in team history to have multiple 30/100 seasons. But he's only the second player to ever do it multiple times before turning 25.
• The other? Ted Williams.
• And I thought all that whistling coming from the Yankees' dugout was directed at ladies sitting in the stands? Silly me.
• Serbian tennis star and global #1 Novak Djokovic missed out on his Golden Slam, winning each of the four tennis grand slam tournaments within a calendar year, by losing the U.S. Open final. That it hasn't been accomplished since HOF'er Rod Laver did it last in 1969 sez something, doesn't it?
• Not for nuthin', but he's been world-best for more than six years straight. GOAT? He's got a great argument there, too.
• A record three million people tried golf for the first time in 2020, sez the National Golf Foundation. That explains why I can find so many golf balls on the golf course…I haven't had to buy any in two years.
• Not sure I like the idea, but if it puts a charge in the players during a usually boring regular season, I'll watch. Get ready for an in-season NBA tournament. It'll happen if league players, owners and admin can get together on – what else? – the money.
• Put it in Vegas. Players will play.
• Sports betting experts have predicted $12 billion will be bet on NFL games alone this year. What happens in Vegas apparently doesn't stay there anymore.
• Good thing, too. Sports betting should arrive in Connecticut at the state's two tribal casinos in October. Massachusetts? Governor Charlie Baker took time before the Patriots' opener last week to admonish his legislature for filing a bill two years ago…and not passing a thing.
• Uh, guys? Ladies? RI, NH and now CT have all beaten you to the punch.
• FYI, Week One saw a 126% jump in wagering over the same time last year. What pandemic?
• ICYMI…the Buffalo Bills (and the Buffalo Sabres, too) are instituting a vax policy mandating that all attendees to home games, beginning October 31st, must show proof of full vaccination before entering the stadium/building.
• I'm mildly surprised we haven't heard more about this, or had this under consideration, within our own local indoor and outdoor venues…with the exception of PC, URI and RIC, which have now required masks for indoor activities on campus. That would certainly include the Ryan Center.
• You're not for vaccine mandates? Fine. But have you forgotten what you had to take before you started school?
• Vaccine mandates like the ones in schools and the military have been a hallmark of public health efforts to mitigate dangerous diseases for decades and have faced little opposition. Why now?
• Because it's all political. Yeah, let's roll back the clock on the advantages of modern medicine and go back to the Stone Age while we're at it…just so we can have freedumb of choice.
• Stupid is as stupid does. Or as Norm MacDonald might say – "They that are fated to be fools, have one consolation…that they are fated to also be ignorant of it."
• And he really said that.
• Pssst. Vaccine mandates have already happened three times previously in U.S. history – 1777, 1905 (for smallpox), and again in 1922 (in schools).
• "One cannot deprive neighbors of their liberty." Well, it goes both ways. That's a legal decision, not one I simply conjured from thin air. All 50 states have vaccine requirements on their books already.
• And yet, we're moving from pandemic to endemic thanks in large part to vax reluctance and the spread of so much misinformation. Social media posts = a medieval stockade.
• Columbus Blue Jackets assistant coach Sylvain Lefebvre was let go this week because he couldn't/wouldn't get the shot. It's happened in football, basketball, baseball, and hockey. Why wouldn't us common folk follow?
• Saw this week that Rhode Islanders who lose their jobs because of a refusal to be vaccinated (by Oct. 1) won't qualify for unemployment insurance. Hate to say it…but…this was coming. You know it, maybe you just didn't want to see it.
• Comedian Norm MacDonald's passing this week at age 61, after a very private battle with cancer, came as a shock to many in and out of the entertainment world. His dry, snarky humor wasn't just funny – it was inspirational.
• I like to fancy my own style as a poorer, quasi-MacDonald-like imitator. Especially during his Saturday Night Live "Weekend Update" years in the '90's, when he made it ok to laugh while not being sure you were supposed to laugh at what he said.
• There have been many plaudits and tributes to his talent and ability, and I'll second every one of them…plus add some favorite SNL lines: 1) "Oprah Winfrey's longtime boyfriend, Stedman Graham, has written a new book called 'You Can Make it Happen: A Nine-Step Plan For Success.' Step No. 1: become Oprah Winfrey's boyfriend. Then the other eight are just 'hang around.'"
• 2) "Real estate mogul Donald Trump announced this week that after 3½ years of marriage, he is seeking a divorce from wife, Marla Maples. According to Trump, Maples violated part of their marriage agreement when she decided to turn 30."
• And my favorite, appropriate, Norm MacDonald line:
• 3) "I'm pretty sure, I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure if you die, the cancer dies at the same time. That's not a loss. That's a draw."
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