The sports world grinding to a halt leaves us with so many unanswered questions. The NCAA’s season is over for everybody, with the remainder of winter and all of spring sports ending without champions. The NBA and NHL seasons, with about a month to go before the playoffs, are suspended, as are soccer leagues across the globe. We don’t know when the MLB season will begin. The only league operating as usual is the NFL, because it’s the offseason.
While there might be hope that some of these sports find a way to crown a champion, to pass the time let’s assume they don’t. That’s where we come in, using the most complex mathematical equations and advanced metrics (okay, not really) to determine who would have reached the pinnacle in each of their respective sports:
NBA – Los Angeles Lakers: Finishing with the top seed in the West, the Lakers cruise through their first two rounds against Memphis and Houston, winning each series in five games. The Western Conference Final won’t be nearly as easy, with a classic seven-game duel against the Clippers in a Staples Center series, capped by LeBron James’ triple-double in Game 7.
Waiting in the Finals is MVP Giannis Antetokounmpo and the 66-win Bucks. While Giannis has a series to remember, his teammates don’t, and Los Angeles wins its first title since 2010 in six games.
NHL – Tampa Bay Lightning: The Bruins lead the league with 114 points, but for the seventh year in a row and the 11th time in 12 seasons, the Presidents’ Trophy winner doesn’t hoist the Cup. In the second round they face the Lightning, who after going 3-1 against Boston in the regular season, wins in six games to advance to the Eastern Conference Final, where the red-hot Flyers’ surge comes to an end.
In the Final, Tampa meets Nathan McKinnon and the Avalanche. Despite leading the Western Conference in goals, Colorado has no answers for Conn Smythe winner Andrei Vasilevskiy, who records a shutout in Game 1 and allows a single goal in the decisive Game 6 for the Lightning’s second Stanley Cup.
Men’s College Basketball – Kansas Jayhawks: In an unpredictable year, it’s a recognizable name that cuts down the nets in Atlanta. KU runs into a surprisingly easy run through the Midwest region, with the only challenge coming in the Elite 8 against Duke, where Devon Dotson outplays Tre Jones and Udoka Azubuike challenges Vernon Carey all afternoon.
Meanwhile, Dayton gets tripped up by Maryland in the Sweet 16, allowing Florida State to go to its first Final Four. Top-seeded Baylor doesn’t make it out of the opening weekend, and Louisville as a four-seed wins the South. All that sets up a Kansas-Gonzaga championship, where the Jayhawks hand the Bulldogs a second title game loss in four years.
Women’s College Basketball – Oregon Ducks: Not having to leave the state for the first two weekends, the Ducks advance to their second straight Final Four, ending UConn’s 12-year streak in the process with an Elite 8 win in Portland. After Ruthy Hebard goes toe-to-toe with Baylor’s Lauren Cox, Satou Sabally and Sabrina Ionescu do the rest to advance to the program’s first championship game, against the number one overall seed South Carolina.
Ionescu caps her career with a 27th triple-double to win Most Outstanding Player honors, putting up 28-12-10 in the championship game, and one of the most decorated collegiate players ever goes out a champion.
College Baseball – Florida Gators: The only undefeated team left in Division-I when the season came to an abrupt end was Florida. While the Gators don’t win the SEC Tournament in Hoover (that honor goes to Georgia), but UF gets revenge in Omaha, winning a loser-goes-home affair against the Bulldogs to advance to the CWS Finals. There, they hold off UCLA to win their second championship.
Premier League - Liverpool: This one is the easiest to simulate. With nine games left Liverpool has a 25-point edge in the league table on Manchester City. After drawing at Everton and winning at Crystal Palace, the Reds secure their first Premier League title (and first league title period since 1990) at the Etihad against Pep Guardiola’s bunch. Liverpool goes on to break the record for most wins (34) and points (105) in the greatest season in Premier League history.
If they don’t play a single match the rest of the season, the PL should crown Liverpool champions.
